I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We grabbed a bite at the food court and I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue .My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look, off and on, and find him staring every time. When the boy had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response as I knew he'd have a good one. And in classic style he did. Without missing a beat he said, 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Replies (8)
swez on 02/15/2008 22:26:49
Oh that's a good one liner and the setup to the punch line was perfect! A key trait of a good salesman... knowing good jokes and how to deliver them at the right time.
Swez LOL
admin on 02/16/2008 07:23:12
I like this one too, got a nice laugh out of me :)
MrBrownstone on 02/16/2008 16:10:36
kittle, time to do your homework
-Dad
SQLThump on 02/16/2008 21:25:23
Good one Kit, just don't let me tell any of mine!
LOL SQLThump
Victor on 03/10/2008 01:55:21
4 Chinese...
Chu, Bu, Fu and Su decided to migrate to the US .
They wanted to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck,
Bu became Buck.
Fu and Su decided to go back to China !!!
SQLThump on 03/10/2008 17:13:46
Thats damn good!!!
cplkittle on 03/10/2008 22:47:36
lol, good one Victor.
Here's one with an unusual twist:
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're crapping in the bed!'
Victor on 03/13/2008 02:06:01
thats crappy...............
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so I wouldn't choke on his response as I knew he'd have a good one. And in classic style he did. Without missing a beat he said, 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
Replies (8)
swez on 02/15/2008 22:26:49
Oh that's a good one liner and the setup to the punch line was perfect! A key trait of a good salesman... knowing good jokes and how to deliver them at the right time.
Swez LOL
admin on 02/16/2008 07:23:12
I like this one too, got a nice laugh out of me :)
MrBrownstone on 02/16/2008 16:10:36
kittle, time to do your homework
-Dad
SQLThump on 02/16/2008 21:25:23
Good one Kit, just don't let me tell any of mine!
LOL SQLThump
Victor on 03/10/2008 01:55:21
4 Chinese...
Chu, Bu, Fu and Su decided to migrate to the US .
They wanted to adapt their names to American standards.
Chu became Chuck,
Bu became Buck.
Fu and Su decided to go back to China !!!
SQLThump on 03/10/2008 17:13:46
Thats damn good!!!
cplkittle on 03/10/2008 22:47:36
lol, good one Victor.
Here's one with an unusual twist:
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.'
Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!
St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.
A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'
'Never,' said Ralph.
'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout.....
'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're crapping in the bed!'
Victor on 03/13/2008 02:06:01
thats crappy...............
Copyright ClubKnowledge 2009 * All Rights Reserved
