Hey guys,
I have a 16 year old kid next door who's into bass and he frequently pulls up the driveway between our houses after dark and turns up the bass thang.
Tonight, I was watching TV in my room and half dozing, (@ 9:30 PM) when he pulled up and let the bass rip between the houses for almost 10 minutes while his mother just stood there watching the whole thing.
Now, I'm not one that is easily worked up about such things and even helped him put the thang together. However, I have warned him about such things before and asked him repeatedly "NOT TO BOOM HIS GEAR BETWEEN OUR HOUSES AFTER DARK"!!!
Well this little episode was the last straw. I opened my bedroom window and gave the boy a good piece of my mind. His mother says... "Don't you talk to my son that way". OK... tell ya what Mom, you're the parent and here's the deal... "Do that again and I will personally come over there and "FIX" that SOB woofer for him".
Hummm, a bit out of character for me in general, to be sure. But this has happened several times before and the gentle "WORD" approach has not worked, so this time... the lad heard it from a man of his word in a way any fool can understand. (Even his twit-brained Mother got the message) His Dad is out of the picture via divorce, or I would have addressed this with the father.
End rant...
OK... they are about to move in a few weeks and I hope we get a quiet family to move in soon too. (Yippy-Skippy HAPPY) They have been noisy neighbors for the past 10 years and frankly, I thought it a bit rash to burn down their garage or some other form of retalition. All I want is some peace and quiet while minding my own business. I respect my neighbor's rights to enjoy peace and quiet and take sharp offense to such thoughtless behaviors.
However, now I feel like the bad guy. He's been a pretty good kid up until 2 years ago, when his parents split up. But of late, he's got very limited parental oversight and has become a jerk/punk kid with an "attitude" as a result.
What's a good way to handle this situation as a fair-minded adult neighbor and one-time good friends with this family? I have helped this lad with his go carts, motorized bikes and such many times in the past. He's usually been cooperative and somewhat compliant on other matters too. However, this episode was the last straw. I don't appreciate this "rude awakening" routine yet don't wish to be on bad terms with any of my neighbors.
Any suggestions? (Short of torching his truck in the night?)
Swez
Replies (21)
cplkittle on 04/1/2007 23:01:09
blow it up!!!
I don't know what to suggest aside from calling the police.
Isn't there a device that broadcasts signals that amplifiers pick up that will damage the sub?
trunkisloud on 04/1/2007 23:34:18
may have to just ride it out until they move.....what are the odds of getting the same type of neighbors twice in a row.??
swez on 04/1/2007 23:39:57
Ahhhh crap... I thought about calling the police for noise problems and if it happens again, I will do that route. However, this may have gotten his attention as it's been quiet as Chruch Mouse since I gave him the "WORD" tonight.
Frankly, I don't mind a few minutes of testing and tuning in the yard or garage if he needs to do such things. But not at this time of night. I must have been sound asleep with the TV on when he started his little thang and it woke me up. That's what set my blood to the boiling point.
This little truck can do a solid +130 dB with the system we installed a few months ago. It sounds very clean and thumps pretty good for a low budget system. (Kenwood amp and sub)
I really don't want to ruin his gear or smash his head either. Like I said before, he's not a bad kid under most situations, but getting boomed out of my own bed at this time of night was a bad idea on his part. After 2 days on the road and not much sleep, I can be a real bear and this was the case tonight. Hopefully I made my point loud and clear and this will be the last episode before they move out.
Thanks for the supportive comments though... I can only hope they move ASAP and the new neighbors will be much more apt to keep down the noise after dark.
Swez
PS That braodcasting idea is an interesting option though. Only thing here, he plays RAP CD's a lot and I'd have to figure out how to beam a strong RF signal to the amp that totally disrupts the power supply switching frequency to the point this amp craps out. Problem is, he has a few backup amps/subs too. So, the problem will come back in just a matter of hours.
I think/hope the problem is now resolved and he and his twit-headed Mom got my message loud and clear. If not, I'll just let the police handle it.
Victor on 04/2/2007 02:12:49
Call him over to your place, offer him something to drink... let him know that you are DADDY when it comes to car audio.. and talk to him in car audio terms..
talk to him things that interest him. and then softly put across your point of view on such behavior by him. try to explain him the responsibilities of a car audio enthusiasts and teach him a small lesson in life. all this while be patient , listen to his point of view and make him feel as if you treat him as an equal.
. give him an attractive offer of tuning his system better than before and tweaking it for much better performance if he behaves himself well around the neighbourhood..and as he leaves smiling and assuring of not bothering you again tell him very clearly and calmly that if he does so again , then DADDY does some spanking.. hehe.
you would have made your point.. if he realises and mends his ways good for him as well as you, and if he does'nt , at least you don't feel the harshness of misbehaving with a kid..
police is the last option. usually we feel that calling the police would solve the issue.. but it does not solve the deep rooted issue.. instead it creates more agitation, revolt and frustration into the mind of that 16yr old kid. forget mending ways most of them would go haywire..
I know ol; swez. i know u sure must have kept a lot of patience.. but when we loose it , its usually the time we regret and feel a bit more of patience could have solved the issue without any hassles..
Victor...
jamesp on 04/2/2007 07:42:48
Kittle has a good idea, a high powered linear cb amp with about a 10' long antenna. Junior pulls up in the driveway with the Blast-O Matic blaring, Swez looks out the window and smiles and points his finger at junior while turning the gain on the sqelch way up and keying the mic.......POOF......The Blast-O-Matic puffs a miniature mushroom cloud and is no more....then point your finger at the kid....and watch him run...
Or something like that
cplkittle on 04/2/2007 07:51:17
I have heard people talk of such things, I don't know if it is real or not. You could call it a Ghetto Blaster.. Blaster.
swez on 04/2/2007 09:39:01
Victor, your comments show wisdom and prudence and yes, I have tried that approach for many years, (his 6-15 age) with this lad. Most of the time, it worked very well and respect was garnered all the way around.
This approach worked just fine until last year when he got the truck and we started putting his system together. Since then, his Dad & Mom had an ugly divorce and Dad went off on a crack bindge that has pretty much put him on the outs with the lad, his Mom and most of his friends. (Including me)
The lad and I will not be peers or equals for a long time. There's too large a gap in age, experience and maturity for that now. If he were to come around for a visit at say 25-30 years old, that would be a different situation. But for now, he's barely 16 and thinks he knows it all. (We all go through that stage at some point huh?) My Dad was pretty firm-handed with us in that stage and it kept us from getting into some very dumb things that others do as a habit these days. (Drugs, alcohol, stealing, sex and such) Even though Dad seemed a bit harsh at times, looking back... it was the right medicine for the times.
Jimmy, your comments are priceless and I love the idea in concept. The engineering mind in me is pondering the possibilities of a highly directional RF disruptor device that not only knocks out his audio system, but also fries his engine electronics to the point that his truck is rendered useless and very expensive to repair. If I were that irked and had the inclination, that would be my wepon of choice. But his retaliations would be many and irksome as well. (Some little pranks are already happening here to know he and his buddies are willing to esclalate a small scale war into something bigger) That's enough to restrain my desire to escalate the issues more than they are now. (Many small fleas on a big dog are very annoying and enough to make a big dog very unhappy, if not just plain mean) Don't wish to go there huh?
Anyway, the good news is that they will be moving this month and the rumor is that a nice family bought the house and they will be moving in soon. I'll make it a point to be part of the Welcome Wagon Committee, establish good rapport with the parents and hope the kids are well mannered and know how to respect other adults as well.
It will be a blessing to be rid of the present neighbors as they are loud, brash, self-centered and inconsiderate idiots. (Dare I lable anyone as White trash?) Perhaps not... but we'll plan a party when they leave and consider it an out with the bad trash and in with the new. If that plan works, all will be well with the neighborhood again. If not, maybe I'll just move to some off the beaten path farm house with a few acres of land and become a cowboy or a self-sustaining farmer. Hummm, that would be an interesting switch huh?
Remember the Unabomber? (Ted kaczynski) Am beginning to understand his mentality and what may have drove him to such a radical plan of disruption and anarchy. LOL
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unabomber
Swez
UKinstaller on 04/2/2007 09:56:21
i say just get a couple of dogs, monkeys, or birds or something and have them send some obnoxious noises your neighbors way at 2 am or so. couple nights in a row of that should take care of it.
otherwise, sneak in his car and do something that might take a while for him to fix, for example cut the 12V feed to his ignition harness near the firewall and cover it with tape. or wire a relay to pull his starter off of the accessory crank so that anytime he's NOT cranking his igntion switch his starter is cranking. that'll burn out real soon.
-UK
ShootuhMcBustaCap on 04/2/2007 09:56:23
I see things from both ends here, and I honestly think Victor has the best solution here, by appealing to the enthuisist in him, you can probably get him to crank 'er down some with the old responsibility with your system part. This is what worked for me with my speeding problem. I learned to turn it down here as soon as I saw the hinky looks on the neihbor's faces when I rolled through dumpin the first and last times. I like keeping my stereo where it belongs!
Loud neihbors suck, and I have had a few in my time, and have been considered one as well. But usually considered as one, I was trying to keep things within reason, but the lady next door would call me in for watching a movie. But her complaints were never reasonable, with cops stopping at my house 2X+ a week, and never issuing a ticket or summons. This was never a car audio problem though, as I didn't have a system that could penetrate a wall.
Now working on graveyard shifts, I have very little time to work on my stereo without getting up at what I consider the buttcrack of dawn, about 4PM, or staying up a whole day and missing sleep. So tuning/adjustments have to be made at night on occaision, so I find a safe public place to do it. Like the 24 hour gas station I work at. You may suggest the old vacant parking lot at night to him.
Agian like Victor said, the mind of a 16 year old, absent of parental supervision, will probably take nicely to the idea of a role model that has similar interests. As long as you explain to him that when it comes to car audio, you are his DADDY. He is probably dying to have an older male in his life teaching him something useful. Expecially if his pops just dissapeared and spends little time with him now. I am pretty much a fatherless child, and I still look for role models to teach me useful things, and I'm 22.
And about the cops..........this will probably make matters MUCH worse for you in the future. Junior will take this as a direct offense, especially if he finds himself seriously in the rap music mentality. Basically you become a snitch in two ways: You called the cops on him, which makes you one in his mind, and you snitch on yourself by putting a name on a report which draws suspicion when you use the "Blaster of Ghetto Blasters," torch garage, smash fools melon. or otherwise. Young people can be real feceheads, believe me. I was quite the package at 16 myself, but in the last few years, have matured nicely. With some good direction, I am sure Junior can too.
Victor on 04/2/2007 10:04:46
mission code name.... """Daddy spanks Junior"""...GRIN
ShootuhMcBustaCap on 04/2/2007 10:09:31
YES! How bout "Operation: Daddy Spanks Junior"? It sounds more secret agentish....
Victor on 04/2/2007 10:12:14
wait till Uncle B. posts on this one...hehehehehehehehe.... Daddy's gonna get some online spanking.... GRIN
ShootuhMcBustaCap on 04/2/2007 10:14:09
Unfortunately, "Operation Uncle B. Spanks Daddy" sounds really gross................
Victor on 04/2/2007 10:16:06
well.. when uncle B and Daddy meet... you still havent seen how wild the talk can be....GRIN
its like ""hey look mine is bigger than yours"" kinda talk...hehehehehehehe
ShootuhMcBustaCap on 04/2/2007 10:29:30
Whoa. Sounds intense.
swez on 04/2/2007 11:01:29
Am sure he will turn out to be a fine young man in time too. As you say, he does need an older mentor and one that coaches by good example and is very consistant about calling him to a higher level of maturity. Have enjoyed this type of mentoring relationship w/ him in the past and it did work before.
However, now that he has older friends (17-19 year olds) to influence him and have lead him to stray from a position of responsibilty and good behavior, not sure this method will have the desired results right now. I remember my teen years well enough to know that peer pressure is very strong for this age group and parental authority is just not there to curb it.
Calling the cops is a last resort here as we know what that will bring later. I can ride this storm out and am willing to reason with him when the opportunity comes. I don't have any plans to damage his gear, truck or his delicate ego either. That's just not Christian and the right thing to do at this stage of the game. However, appealing to his current interests and finding a sense of common ground is a very good option.
I have not experienced a fatherless home scenario before, but know it's a big trauma for the only lad in this home. He refuses to help out around the house, take out the trash, cut the lawn, snow removal and other chores that a mature kid would gladly do for his working Mom. She goes to work at 5:30 AM and comes home at about 2:30 PM. When Mom gets home, she cooks dinner, does the laundry, takes out the trash, cuts the lawn, shovels snow and does all the other tasks needed to run a household.
Junior takes no responsibility for such tasks, gives plenty of lip to Mom and she and his grandparents lavish him with all kinds of "toys", a cell phone, scooters, mini-cycles and now a truck. They prefer to cater and spoil this lad instead of training him to become a man and take responsibility for his share of the work at home.
This is what has set up most of the bad behavior now. He was never grounded, rarely spanked as a child, (but by Dad only) and does whatever he pleases. There are no boundaries for this kid and bad behavior is often rewarded. (Mom was raised the same way and what a mess she & sister turned out to be) So yes, I can see the root of the problems here and the results too.
FYI: If I gave my Mom any lip as a kid, she took action and when Dad got home, I paid a dear price for lipping off to Mom. That was enough to set me straight. I was grounded, got the belt and sometimes even worse. (A good dose of woop-azz was the last resort and that option came up enough times until I got older and could easily restrain my Dad's rage)
I never swore at my parents, raised a hand in anger against them or intentionally provoked them. However, when I was 17 and pretty strong from sports, the beatings came to an abrupt halt in one event. That's a long story and as I look back at that day, I will never forget the look on Dad's face when I pinned him to the trunk of his car and restrained him until he wore out.
Yes, I had enough RAGE to beat him to a pulp as he had done to me for so many years. But, something inside of me said it was not an option. So, I only needed to man-handle him enough to make the point stick. No punches were thrown by me, I never struck him and just ducked his fists and feet until I could move in and tie him up with my hands and legs to restain him until he wore down.
That day, I told him that he would NEVER lay another hand on me or my Mom in anger again. Dad now knew he had lost his best weapon and could no longer bully me or the rest of the family. He summarily threw me out of the house at 17 and I was gone for most of that summer.
OK, that's just a snapshot of life growing up in a pretty out-of-control family. But ya know, it served a purpose that day. I learned that over-whelming force is not the answer to most conflicts. (Short of a street fight) The real big changes came later when I entered college and then the workforce. The lessons were to learn to negotiate with the opposition, listen to their side of the story and draw strong boundaries against those who abuse and misuse their authority. If negotiation and reasoning did not work, it's time to move on.
Wow... did I spill my guts out on this post or what? All that to say we all have the power to make good or bad choices in life. A bad childhood is not an excuse for acting out as an adult. Yes, there are scars from the past that still hurt the relive. However, we have the ability/choice to turn the bad stuff around and make good use of how not to live later.
I hope somebody out there that is reading this post will get something good from it. Meekness is not weakness! Meekness is a strong stallion who responds well to the trainers gentle yet determined hands. I think I have found the answer on how to handle things with the lad next door before they move. This is not about powering up or taking matters into my own hands. It's more about coaching and mentoring this lad into a level of respect he has yet to see in action. I'll take the higher road as mentioned by Victor and others.
Thanks for helping me sort out an appropriate solution,
Swez
MrBrownstone on 04/2/2007 13:26:03
Complaining about Noise @ 9:30pm? I think you need a cure for old age before the noise!!! Kidding, of course.
Outside of a noise complaint with the cops, actually walking out of your house is the best thing. People are afraid of conflict, and someone approaching them is very unnerving.
ttocs on 04/2/2007 14:12:35
I have had some issues with nieighbors and their kids but I have always found that a polite, but direct approach got their attention. One of my neighbors was a flight attendant and as her kids got to high school she liked to take overnight trips for more money, they liked them as she was gone for 2-3 days a week. I have had more then my share of parties when my folks were out but we always were respectfull of the neighbors and kept the party indoors and at a resonable level(big house, big lots). These kids for some reason just liked to hang out in the street and thier driveway all night. I put up with it all summer until one night my roommate left my garage open and my mountain bike was stolen. The next night when they woke me up I suprised them by opening my garage at 11 pm, and walking out in my boxers....... They looked a little afraid and probably just as much stunned. I was direct and to the point that me and the neighbors had put up with this stuff all summer but now that stuff is turning up missing it was going to end. I understood if they needed to step outside to smoke their cigs but they have a back yard for that as well and they do not belong out like this at this hour. Bing a little scared by the bald neighbor in his boxers they all agreed. I then told them that the next time they were pissing me off I would give them one warning before I called the cops. That warning could consist of me yelling out the window to STFU, comming out to talk again or flying the bat signal for all i cared but if they didn't stop what ever they were doing that I was not going to ask them any more. Anymore requests that I would be making would be through the use of an officer if they didn't quit what they were doing by the time I closed the window, walked back inside or turned off the bat signal.
Draw a thick, dark, WELL DEFINED line in the sand and tell him you will act if he crosses it. Treat him like a man and tell him to do the same and remind him that if he wants respect he has to give it. If he does cross the line then I am sure the first time the cops come it will be a warning and again let him know you are serious. But if not you gave him a chance and he made his bed............
swez on 04/2/2007 14:20:31
Yeah, normally it would have been a friendly face-to-face chat. But in this case, we had just gotten back from Florida, was dog-azz tired and collapsed from pure exhaution. After 2 weeks of long hours working and dead quiet nights after 7:30 PM there, I was pretty spoiled by the tranquile setting.
I don't want the kid to fear me... just be respectful is all. But after last nights' episode, he'll probably get the message and pipe down after dark until they move. (Sooner the better) In the meantime, I may attempt a man to Junior talk and explain the do's and don't about being a responsible kid with a loud boombox. I'll be calm, well rested and collect my thoughts before approaching him on the matter.
It's a waste of time talking to his Mom as she is a total twit and lets the boy do whatever pleases him and keeps him out of her hair so she can work, go shopping and have sex with her boyfriend after the kid goes to bed. I'll be glad when they move!!!
Swez
cplkittle on 04/2/2007 22:56:53
From my experience, the kids that boom constantly are frequent shoppers. They pay me to install a system, show it off, have it stolen, and the cycle repeats.
I would say a few weeks of showing off should catch the attention of the wrong people.
swez on 04/3/2007 00:23:54
I can only hope... but he has spare gear on hand already in the event of a rip off. Besides, if he whines enough, Mommy will pony up the extra cash and replace whatever was lost, just to shut the kid up. (Yeah, it's pretty much the trend I have seen for a few years now)
Also, since I have voiced my strong opinions now, it is likely I will be considered a prime suspect unless the kid loses his gear in a not-so-local area. So, either way it's a mess in the making or a short-term fix to a long-term problem I don't care to deal with.
As metioned before, the best solution will be when they move. I hope they move to upper Slobovia or some very remote place, a long distance away. The day they pull the moving van out for the last time... I'll celebrate with gusto. Care to join me in that one?
Swez
I have a 16 year old kid next door who's into bass and he frequently pulls up the driveway between our houses after dark and turns up the bass thang.
Tonight, I was watching TV in my room and half dozing, (@ 9:30 PM) when he pulled up and let the bass rip between the houses for almost 10 minutes while his mother just stood there watching the whole thing.
Now, I'm not one that is easily worked up about such things and even helped him put the thang together. However, I have warned him about such things before and asked him repeatedly "NOT TO BOOM HIS GEAR BETWEEN OUR HOUSES AFTER DARK"!!!
Well this little episode was the last straw. I opened my bedroom window and gave the boy a good piece of my mind. His mother says... "Don't you talk to my son that way". OK... tell ya what Mom, you're the parent and here's the deal... "Do that again and I will personally come over there and "FIX" that SOB woofer for him".
Hummm, a bit out of character for me in general, to be sure. But this has happened several times before and the gentle "WORD" approach has not worked, so this time... the lad heard it from a man of his word in a way any fool can understand. (Even his twit-brained Mother got the message) His Dad is out of the picture via divorce, or I would have addressed this with the father.
End rant...
OK... they are about to move in a few weeks and I hope we get a quiet family to move in soon too. (Yippy-Skippy HAPPY) They have been noisy neighbors for the past 10 years and frankly, I thought it a bit rash to burn down their garage or some other form of retalition. All I want is some peace and quiet while minding my own business. I respect my neighbor's rights to enjoy peace and quiet and take sharp offense to such thoughtless behaviors.
However, now I feel like the bad guy. He's been a pretty good kid up until 2 years ago, when his parents split up. But of late, he's got very limited parental oversight and has become a jerk/punk kid with an "attitude" as a result.
What's a good way to handle this situation as a fair-minded adult neighbor and one-time good friends with this family? I have helped this lad with his go carts, motorized bikes and such many times in the past. He's usually been cooperative and somewhat compliant on other matters too. However, this episode was the last straw. I don't appreciate this "rude awakening" routine yet don't wish to be on bad terms with any of my neighbors.
Any suggestions? (Short of torching his truck in the night?)
Swez
Replies (21)
cplkittle on 04/1/2007 23:01:09
blow it up!!!
I don't know what to suggest aside from calling the police.
Isn't there a device that broadcasts signals that amplifiers pick up that will damage the sub?
trunkisloud on 04/1/2007 23:34:18
may have to just ride it out until they move.....what are the odds of getting the same type of neighbors twice in a row.??
swez on 04/1/2007 23:39:57
Ahhhh crap... I thought about calling the police for noise problems and if it happens again, I will do that route. However, this may have gotten his attention as it's been quiet as Chruch Mouse since I gave him the "WORD" tonight.
Frankly, I don't mind a few minutes of testing and tuning in the yard or garage if he needs to do such things. But not at this time of night. I must have been sound asleep with the TV on when he started his little thang and it woke me up. That's what set my blood to the boiling point.
This little truck can do a solid +130 dB with the system we installed a few months ago. It sounds very clean and thumps pretty good for a low budget system. (Kenwood amp and sub)
I really don't want to ruin his gear or smash his head either. Like I said before, he's not a bad kid under most situations, but getting boomed out of my own bed at this time of night was a bad idea on his part. After 2 days on the road and not much sleep, I can be a real bear and this was the case tonight. Hopefully I made my point loud and clear and this will be the last episode before they move out.
Thanks for the supportive comments though... I can only hope they move ASAP and the new neighbors will be much more apt to keep down the noise after dark.
Swez
PS That braodcasting idea is an interesting option though. Only thing here, he plays RAP CD's a lot and I'd have to figure out how to beam a strong RF signal to the amp that totally disrupts the power supply switching frequency to the point this amp craps out. Problem is, he has a few backup amps/subs too. So, the problem will come back in just a matter of hours.
I think/hope the problem is now resolved and he and his twit-headed Mom got my message loud and clear. If not, I'll just let the police handle it.
Victor on 04/2/2007 02:12:49
Call him over to your place, offer him something to drink... let him know that you are DADDY when it comes to car audio.. and talk to him in car audio terms..
talk to him things that interest him. and then softly put across your point of view on such behavior by him. try to explain him the responsibilities of a car audio enthusiasts and teach him a small lesson in life. all this while be patient , listen to his point of view and make him feel as if you treat him as an equal.
. give him an attractive offer of tuning his system better than before and tweaking it for much better performance if he behaves himself well around the neighbourhood..and as he leaves smiling and assuring of not bothering you again tell him very clearly and calmly that if he does so again , then DADDY does some spanking.. hehe.
you would have made your point.. if he realises and mends his ways good for him as well as you, and if he does'nt , at least you don't feel the harshness of misbehaving with a kid..
police is the last option. usually we feel that calling the police would solve the issue.. but it does not solve the deep rooted issue.. instead it creates more agitation, revolt and frustration into the mind of that 16yr old kid. forget mending ways most of them would go haywire..
I know ol; swez. i know u sure must have kept a lot of patience.. but when we loose it , its usually the time we regret and feel a bit more of patience could have solved the issue without any hassles..
Victor...
jamesp on 04/2/2007 07:42:48
Kittle has a good idea, a high powered linear cb amp with about a 10' long antenna. Junior pulls up in the driveway with the Blast-O Matic blaring, Swez looks out the window and smiles and points his finger at junior while turning the gain on the sqelch way up and keying the mic.......POOF......The Blast-O-Matic puffs a miniature mushroom cloud and is no more....then point your finger at the kid....and watch him run...
Or something like that
cplkittle on 04/2/2007 07:51:17
I have heard people talk of such things, I don't know if it is real or not. You could call it a Ghetto Blaster.. Blaster.
swez on 04/2/2007 09:39:01
Victor, your comments show wisdom and prudence and yes, I have tried that approach for many years, (his 6-15 age) with this lad. Most of the time, it worked very well and respect was garnered all the way around.
This approach worked just fine until last year when he got the truck and we started putting his system together. Since then, his Dad & Mom had an ugly divorce and Dad went off on a crack bindge that has pretty much put him on the outs with the lad, his Mom and most of his friends. (Including me)
The lad and I will not be peers or equals for a long time. There's too large a gap in age, experience and maturity for that now. If he were to come around for a visit at say 25-30 years old, that would be a different situation. But for now, he's barely 16 and thinks he knows it all. (We all go through that stage at some point huh?) My Dad was pretty firm-handed with us in that stage and it kept us from getting into some very dumb things that others do as a habit these days. (Drugs, alcohol, stealing, sex and such) Even though Dad seemed a bit harsh at times, looking back... it was the right medicine for the times.
Jimmy, your comments are priceless and I love the idea in concept. The engineering mind in me is pondering the possibilities of a highly directional RF disruptor device that not only knocks out his audio system, but also fries his engine electronics to the point that his truck is rendered useless and very expensive to repair. If I were that irked and had the inclination, that would be my wepon of choice. But his retaliations would be many and irksome as well. (Some little pranks are already happening here to know he and his buddies are willing to esclalate a small scale war into something bigger) That's enough to restrain my desire to escalate the issues more than they are now. (Many small fleas on a big dog are very annoying and enough to make a big dog very unhappy, if not just plain mean) Don't wish to go there huh?
Anyway, the good news is that they will be moving this month and the rumor is that a nice family bought the house and they will be moving in soon. I'll make it a point to be part of the Welcome Wagon Committee, establish good rapport with the parents and hope the kids are well mannered and know how to respect other adults as well.
It will be a blessing to be rid of the present neighbors as they are loud, brash, self-centered and inconsiderate idiots. (Dare I lable anyone as White trash?) Perhaps not... but we'll plan a party when they leave and consider it an out with the bad trash and in with the new. If that plan works, all will be well with the neighborhood again. If not, maybe I'll just move to some off the beaten path farm house with a few acres of land and become a cowboy or a self-sustaining farmer. Hummm, that would be an interesting switch huh?
Remember the Unabomber? (Ted kaczynski) Am beginning to understand his mentality and what may have drove him to such a radical plan of disruption and anarchy. LOL
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unabomber
Swez
UKinstaller on 04/2/2007 09:56:21
i say just get a couple of dogs, monkeys, or birds or something and have them send some obnoxious noises your neighbors way at 2 am or so. couple nights in a row of that should take care of it.
otherwise, sneak in his car and do something that might take a while for him to fix, for example cut the 12V feed to his ignition harness near the firewall and cover it with tape. or wire a relay to pull his starter off of the accessory crank so that anytime he's NOT cranking his igntion switch his starter is cranking. that'll burn out real soon.
-UK
ShootuhMcBustaCap on 04/2/2007 09:56:23
I see things from both ends here, and I honestly think Victor has the best solution here, by appealing to the enthuisist in him, you can probably get him to crank 'er down some with the old responsibility with your system part. This is what worked for me with my speeding problem. I learned to turn it down here as soon as I saw the hinky looks on the neihbor's faces when I rolled through dumpin the first and last times. I like keeping my stereo where it belongs!
Loud neihbors suck, and I have had a few in my time, and have been considered one as well. But usually considered as one, I was trying to keep things within reason, but the lady next door would call me in for watching a movie. But her complaints were never reasonable, with cops stopping at my house 2X+ a week, and never issuing a ticket or summons. This was never a car audio problem though, as I didn't have a system that could penetrate a wall.
Now working on graveyard shifts, I have very little time to work on my stereo without getting up at what I consider the buttcrack of dawn, about 4PM, or staying up a whole day and missing sleep. So tuning/adjustments have to be made at night on occaision, so I find a safe public place to do it. Like the 24 hour gas station I work at. You may suggest the old vacant parking lot at night to him.
Agian like Victor said, the mind of a 16 year old, absent of parental supervision, will probably take nicely to the idea of a role model that has similar interests. As long as you explain to him that when it comes to car audio, you are his DADDY. He is probably dying to have an older male in his life teaching him something useful. Expecially if his pops just dissapeared and spends little time with him now. I am pretty much a fatherless child, and I still look for role models to teach me useful things, and I'm 22.
And about the cops..........this will probably make matters MUCH worse for you in the future. Junior will take this as a direct offense, especially if he finds himself seriously in the rap music mentality. Basically you become a snitch in two ways: You called the cops on him, which makes you one in his mind, and you snitch on yourself by putting a name on a report which draws suspicion when you use the "Blaster of Ghetto Blasters," torch garage, smash fools melon. or otherwise. Young people can be real feceheads, believe me. I was quite the package at 16 myself, but in the last few years, have matured nicely. With some good direction, I am sure Junior can too.
Victor on 04/2/2007 10:04:46
mission code name.... """Daddy spanks Junior"""...GRIN
ShootuhMcBustaCap on 04/2/2007 10:09:31
YES! How bout "Operation: Daddy Spanks Junior"? It sounds more secret agentish....
Victor on 04/2/2007 10:12:14
wait till Uncle B. posts on this one...hehehehehehehehe.... Daddy's gonna get some online spanking.... GRIN
ShootuhMcBustaCap on 04/2/2007 10:14:09
Unfortunately, "Operation Uncle B. Spanks Daddy" sounds really gross................
Victor on 04/2/2007 10:16:06
well.. when uncle B and Daddy meet... you still havent seen how wild the talk can be....GRIN
its like ""hey look mine is bigger than yours"" kinda talk...hehehehehehehe
ShootuhMcBustaCap on 04/2/2007 10:29:30
Whoa. Sounds intense.
swez on 04/2/2007 11:01:29
Am sure he will turn out to be a fine young man in time too. As you say, he does need an older mentor and one that coaches by good example and is very consistant about calling him to a higher level of maturity. Have enjoyed this type of mentoring relationship w/ him in the past and it did work before.
However, now that he has older friends (17-19 year olds) to influence him and have lead him to stray from a position of responsibilty and good behavior, not sure this method will have the desired results right now. I remember my teen years well enough to know that peer pressure is very strong for this age group and parental authority is just not there to curb it.
Calling the cops is a last resort here as we know what that will bring later. I can ride this storm out and am willing to reason with him when the opportunity comes. I don't have any plans to damage his gear, truck or his delicate ego either. That's just not Christian and the right thing to do at this stage of the game. However, appealing to his current interests and finding a sense of common ground is a very good option.
I have not experienced a fatherless home scenario before, but know it's a big trauma for the only lad in this home. He refuses to help out around the house, take out the trash, cut the lawn, snow removal and other chores that a mature kid would gladly do for his working Mom. She goes to work at 5:30 AM and comes home at about 2:30 PM. When Mom gets home, she cooks dinner, does the laundry, takes out the trash, cuts the lawn, shovels snow and does all the other tasks needed to run a household.
Junior takes no responsibility for such tasks, gives plenty of lip to Mom and she and his grandparents lavish him with all kinds of "toys", a cell phone, scooters, mini-cycles and now a truck. They prefer to cater and spoil this lad instead of training him to become a man and take responsibility for his share of the work at home.
This is what has set up most of the bad behavior now. He was never grounded, rarely spanked as a child, (but by Dad only) and does whatever he pleases. There are no boundaries for this kid and bad behavior is often rewarded. (Mom was raised the same way and what a mess she & sister turned out to be) So yes, I can see the root of the problems here and the results too.
FYI: If I gave my Mom any lip as a kid, she took action and when Dad got home, I paid a dear price for lipping off to Mom. That was enough to set me straight. I was grounded, got the belt and sometimes even worse. (A good dose of woop-azz was the last resort and that option came up enough times until I got older and could easily restrain my Dad's rage)
I never swore at my parents, raised a hand in anger against them or intentionally provoked them. However, when I was 17 and pretty strong from sports, the beatings came to an abrupt halt in one event. That's a long story and as I look back at that day, I will never forget the look on Dad's face when I pinned him to the trunk of his car and restrained him until he wore out.
Yes, I had enough RAGE to beat him to a pulp as he had done to me for so many years. But, something inside of me said it was not an option. So, I only needed to man-handle him enough to make the point stick. No punches were thrown by me, I never struck him and just ducked his fists and feet until I could move in and tie him up with my hands and legs to restain him until he wore down.
That day, I told him that he would NEVER lay another hand on me or my Mom in anger again. Dad now knew he had lost his best weapon and could no longer bully me or the rest of the family. He summarily threw me out of the house at 17 and I was gone for most of that summer.
OK, that's just a snapshot of life growing up in a pretty out-of-control family. But ya know, it served a purpose that day. I learned that over-whelming force is not the answer to most conflicts. (Short of a street fight) The real big changes came later when I entered college and then the workforce. The lessons were to learn to negotiate with the opposition, listen to their side of the story and draw strong boundaries against those who abuse and misuse their authority. If negotiation and reasoning did not work, it's time to move on.
Wow... did I spill my guts out on this post or what? All that to say we all have the power to make good or bad choices in life. A bad childhood is not an excuse for acting out as an adult. Yes, there are scars from the past that still hurt the relive. However, we have the ability/choice to turn the bad stuff around and make good use of how not to live later.
I hope somebody out there that is reading this post will get something good from it. Meekness is not weakness! Meekness is a strong stallion who responds well to the trainers gentle yet determined hands. I think I have found the answer on how to handle things with the lad next door before they move. This is not about powering up or taking matters into my own hands. It's more about coaching and mentoring this lad into a level of respect he has yet to see in action. I'll take the higher road as mentioned by Victor and others.
Thanks for helping me sort out an appropriate solution,
Swez
MrBrownstone on 04/2/2007 13:26:03
Complaining about Noise @ 9:30pm? I think you need a cure for old age before the noise!!! Kidding, of course.
Outside of a noise complaint with the cops, actually walking out of your house is the best thing. People are afraid of conflict, and someone approaching them is very unnerving.
ttocs on 04/2/2007 14:12:35
I have had some issues with nieighbors and their kids but I have always found that a polite, but direct approach got their attention. One of my neighbors was a flight attendant and as her kids got to high school she liked to take overnight trips for more money, they liked them as she was gone for 2-3 days a week. I have had more then my share of parties when my folks were out but we always were respectfull of the neighbors and kept the party indoors and at a resonable level(big house, big lots). These kids for some reason just liked to hang out in the street and thier driveway all night. I put up with it all summer until one night my roommate left my garage open and my mountain bike was stolen. The next night when they woke me up I suprised them by opening my garage at 11 pm, and walking out in my boxers....... They looked a little afraid and probably just as much stunned. I was direct and to the point that me and the neighbors had put up with this stuff all summer but now that stuff is turning up missing it was going to end. I understood if they needed to step outside to smoke their cigs but they have a back yard for that as well and they do not belong out like this at this hour. Bing a little scared by the bald neighbor in his boxers they all agreed. I then told them that the next time they were pissing me off I would give them one warning before I called the cops. That warning could consist of me yelling out the window to STFU, comming out to talk again or flying the bat signal for all i cared but if they didn't stop what ever they were doing that I was not going to ask them any more. Anymore requests that I would be making would be through the use of an officer if they didn't quit what they were doing by the time I closed the window, walked back inside or turned off the bat signal.
Draw a thick, dark, WELL DEFINED line in the sand and tell him you will act if he crosses it. Treat him like a man and tell him to do the same and remind him that if he wants respect he has to give it. If he does cross the line then I am sure the first time the cops come it will be a warning and again let him know you are serious. But if not you gave him a chance and he made his bed............
swez on 04/2/2007 14:20:31
Yeah, normally it would have been a friendly face-to-face chat. But in this case, we had just gotten back from Florida, was dog-azz tired and collapsed from pure exhaution. After 2 weeks of long hours working and dead quiet nights after 7:30 PM there, I was pretty spoiled by the tranquile setting.
I don't want the kid to fear me... just be respectful is all. But after last nights' episode, he'll probably get the message and pipe down after dark until they move. (Sooner the better) In the meantime, I may attempt a man to Junior talk and explain the do's and don't about being a responsible kid with a loud boombox. I'll be calm, well rested and collect my thoughts before approaching him on the matter.
It's a waste of time talking to his Mom as she is a total twit and lets the boy do whatever pleases him and keeps him out of her hair so she can work, go shopping and have sex with her boyfriend after the kid goes to bed. I'll be glad when they move!!!
Swez
cplkittle on 04/2/2007 22:56:53
From my experience, the kids that boom constantly are frequent shoppers. They pay me to install a system, show it off, have it stolen, and the cycle repeats.
I would say a few weeks of showing off should catch the attention of the wrong people.
swez on 04/3/2007 00:23:54
I can only hope... but he has spare gear on hand already in the event of a rip off. Besides, if he whines enough, Mommy will pony up the extra cash and replace whatever was lost, just to shut the kid up. (Yeah, it's pretty much the trend I have seen for a few years now)
Also, since I have voiced my strong opinions now, it is likely I will be considered a prime suspect unless the kid loses his gear in a not-so-local area. So, either way it's a mess in the making or a short-term fix to a long-term problem I don't care to deal with.
As metioned before, the best solution will be when they move. I hope they move to upper Slobovia or some very remote place, a long distance away. The day they pull the moving van out for the last time... I'll celebrate with gusto. Care to join me in that one?
Swez
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