Would someone please call 911. I need to know where Swez is. Normally, he isn't gone from the boards for more than 2 days.
I know he was on the way to his parent's winter home in Florida. Florida, where the average age is deceased.
Replies (51)
Victor on 12/12/2005 04:27:06
I just saw swez on TV "History's, Lost and Found".
montego_27 on 12/12/2005 05:44:44
I think i just saw him on TV's"Americas Least Wanted"! No seriously, he must have a good CK jones goin' on by now.Would not doubt it if he's in Georgia somewhere, going door to door asking people to use their computer! Can you spare a few posts?
ttocs on 12/12/2005 11:01:35
If he is travaling at his average speed, he will not get there till next week.. You should be starting to understand how the snowbirds work now that you are in socal.... They are all over the roads here now. Suddenly there are cars all over here, doing 45 in the fast lane and taking up two parking spaces. I am normally trying to figure out if there is anything attached to the knuckles holding the towncars steering wheel, that is all you can see..........
I also notice alot more sirens and flashing lights during winter, you cannot get a bed in a hospital either.......
MrBrownstone on 12/12/2005 21:32:03
I just hope he's not in a redneck jail or something.
Victor on 12/13/2005 00:21:26
Just wondering on how would they torture him in a redneck jail....?
compvr15s on 12/13/2005 01:33:23
they would probably have him restrained with various 4-legged farm animals just out of his reach....
Victor on 12/13/2005 15:52:22
This is something really really funny, try it out....
Go to www.google.com
select the " language tools" link
type in " Swez's mom is very nice " in the "translate text box"
select the option (english to spanish) and click "translate" wait for the translation to be done,
next - copy that translated spanish sentence and paste it again in the "translate text box" and select the reverse, (spanish to english) and click "translate" button, wait for the translation and you will not stop laughing...
GRIN
Victor..
compvr15s on 12/13/2005 16:30:29
lol that is pretty good. nice find victor
MrBrownstone on 12/13/2005 21:18:55
QUOTE: "they would probably have him restrained with various 4-legged farm animals just out of his reach...."
I think that says it all.
Victor on 12/17/2005 04:59:03
Swez needs an attorney to get out of Jail, he can no longer take the torture... whose gonna volunteer for it..??
But hey he's gonna pay u in sheeps and goats. no $$$$.... hehehe
MrBrownstone on 12/17/2005 20:39:57
Actually, I heard he'd pay me in 'shine. 190 proof of his innocence. After being in a jail in the 'deep south' there won't be much innocence left in the old boy.
I hope he's able to defend himself. DELIVERANCE of Swez from the bondage of a southern jail may be harder than separating a redneck from his tanktop and Camaro
compvr15s on 12/18/2005 06:07:45
"i bet u can squeel like a pig." weeee grunt grunt weee.. lol never thought that movie would ever be spoken of on a car audio forum
ttocs on 12/18/2005 09:47:08
he has a real pretty mouth too.....
Harvester on 12/18/2005 10:51:04
ting ting ting clank clank......I hear banjo music...
MrBrownstone on 12/19/2005 01:38:35
sooooooey! Soo, Soo Soo WEEEEEE!!!
When 'Dad' gets home, he's gonna have a few things to say. That's what you get for saying "...I'm in Macon,GA..." on a post.
I left him a phone message, but no response.
MrBrownstone on 12/20/2005 21:30:58
I am putting out a reward for Swez.
Since we get 4 dollars for a muskrat, I'm offering $1.32 for information regarding the arrest or hide of Swez.
P0werLifter on 12/21/2005 02:47:38
Maybe I should give him a ring, never seen him gone this long. Maybe he's gone "hoggin"?
BgDustin4 on 12/21/2005 16:49:40
for real he has been gone a long time
MrBrownstone on 12/22/2005 00:26:54
I called him a couple of days ago, with no reply. email also no reply. I'm sure he's just out there in Florida suffering through 80 degree heat.
Poor guy, he may actually have to take a shower once a week whether he needs it or not.
swez on 12/22/2005 13:18:31
Alright, I have come back to CK to vidicate myself and set things straight...
1. Yeah, I missed this bunch of audio misfits and the fun we always have here
2. No, I was not put in the "Pokie" in Macon, GA (but they did come a lookin fer me)
3. It took 4 days and 3 nights to get from Detroit to Southwest Florida
4. I made it back in 1-1/2 days (1,200 miles in 19.5 hours driving... err, flying low)
5. Rented a neat car too. (A Hyundai Sonata) This is one quick little Sedan dudes! Even the stock radio was better than average. Have a look:
http://www.hyundaiusa.com/vehicle/sonata/trim/glsv6.aspx
6. Showers? Yep, had several days of showers (and heavy rains) this short trip. It rained 3 days in a row and we only had 4 days of sun between the 9th - 20th) Cool days too. Only had 3 days above 65. The rest were cool or rainy days. (Better than the 10" of snow back in Michigan and there, it did not get above 30 degrees since the 3rd of December.
7. As you can probably tell, I did not Internet services this trip. I did get one night in a hotel with it, but had little time to use it. I did borrow a neighbor's phone line for an hour to do some e-mails. But, had a hard time getting service for more than a few minutes at a time, before getting booted out.
8. Hey B, I did get your phone message and sent you an SMS text message on excite.com. Guess you did not get it? I lost your phone number by erasing old messages. (Tried to get you to call me back via the text message too)
Anyway, am now back in Detroit as of 9:00 PM, 12/21/05. I just got home, plowed the driveway and went to bed early. Had to get up early to return the rental car, have breakfast with my twin brother and sister-in-law and finally respond to this posting.
Even though some poke fun, I can take a joke! Call off the "possie" and let's get back to normal. (Whatever that is?)
In the words of an old Dave Mason song... (circa mid-70's) "It's good to be home".
Merry Christmas to all, and a bright New Year on 2006!
Swez GRIN
MrBrownstone on 12/22/2005 14:07:39
No I did not get a message @ my email or my phone. However, because of your return, I need to know who to send the $1.32 muskrat bounty to?
MrBrownstone on 12/22/2005 14:09:09
Also glad to hear you are still 'saving yourself' for the right...errr...nevermind.
Welcome back to Possum Lodge
swez on 12/22/2005 17:45:03
It's OK... you can keep the $1.32 Bounty. I am "flush" with the priceless things that cannot be measured in $$$'s or cents.
Keep your stick on the Ice,
Red Green
Sr. Fellow; Possum Lodge
PS Yes, I am still saving, for that special someone 2006 might be the year. Ya never know!!!?
Harvester on 12/23/2005 03:38:48
wtf...
swez on 12/23/2005 08:56:14
WTF??? Must be one of those World Tag-team Federation wrestling acronyms I guess??? Who are the "Big Dogs" on that circus?
Harvester, Good to meet you and welcome to CK!
What may not be appearent, is that Mr. B, ttocs and I, go way back on this forum to about 1999. We have gotten pretty looney as the years sped by. That's what happens when you answer the same questions about 200 times a month. Hang around for a year and you'll see what I mean.
Anyway, there are a lot of coded messages in some of our banter. So, don't even try to catch on... it'll just give ya a headache. Also, we are a PG site and "colorful language" is screened and deleted by those with access to Admin functions. That's one feature CK does very well... keep it clean, friendly and devoid of "bird talk". (foul language)
So, what barn yard buddies do you like best? Sheep, goats, pigs, chickens, goose or the larger 4 legged critters? Many like the sheep. Once they have had a date with one, "there will never be another Ewe".
There was a pretty funny movie with Gene Wilder (circa early 90's?)and his favorite Sheep. He took that Ewe everywhere, dressed it up in Victoria Secret "unmentionables" and went to classy hotels together. The story line was pure lunacy, but in Wilder's exploits... the plot was pretty darn funny.
OK, now we know who the looney tunes are on this site. Don't tell anyone though. We might get locked up in Macon, GA.
Swez GRIN
ttocs on 12/23/2005 10:18:40
Yea, never met swez er B but I know them better then I think I know alot of people..............
I how ever have never thought much about my favorite animal, I'm sure Mr B can give his top 10 list..........
Welcome back swez.
MrBrownstone on 12/23/2005 13:39:54
I'd like to give you a top 10, but Swez said ewe were the only 1!!!
I think dear old Dad (Swez) has slightly underestimated the 200 times we've answered the same question. This is why I've gotten quite lazy and sent FAQs to board members because we've been there and done that. I will, however, give you a top 10 questions asked repeatedly and beaten to death:
10. What Brand of Cap is better?
9. Do I really need bigger wire?
8. Why is Boss $199 and Crossfire $499 for the same 1000W?
7. How much distortion will kill my speakers?
6. Can I mix N match subwoofers?
5. Why can't I just put any sub in any box?
4. A speaker rated 91db@ 2W @ 1/2meter is 2x as loud as 88, right?
3. I have this ringing sound in my system when the car is running.
2. Why didn't putting $8/ft speaker wire improve the sound like the sales guy said it would.
1. Which manufacturer makes the best: Sub, amp, wire, CD, dynamat?
I gotta tell ya, if everybody picked up Richard Clark's $10 book about car audio from like 6 years ago, we wouldn't need a forum except to share stories and speculate on how they are treating Swez in 'the joint.'
USFLAG
MrBrownstone on 12/23/2005 13:44:43
Swez & I use code words because we have both watched the Red Green Show (10pm PBS) at least 75 of the 250 episodes. I personally own about 20 episodes through greatest hits, and 1 book and 1 dvd of the thing. At any rate,...
When you get to be old, like 27, you develop a comraderie amongst each other. Because of our past experiences, we have over 300 euphanisms for body parts, bodily functions, hoochies, prison culture, and much more. The longer you've had a heartbeat, the more likely you've heard one.
Do yourself a favor, tape the Red Green show, and you'll know how Swez and Mr B operate. There will be no more secrets of home improvement, installation, and reasons for city ordinances.
For every law, there's some idiot that's made it necessary.
swez on 12/23/2005 14:00:22
I could not say anything better than that Ol boy! Thanks for the spell check on Ewe's. It didn't look right as Yew, but I was not awake enough to check it out.
May the "Red Green Show" and the Possum Lodge player, rule forever! If you have never seen this show of lunatics, find it on cable or PBS and get ready to laugh your fannies off. The comedy is actually very subtle and very fast paced at times. One has to be very sharp or "stoned" on thier favorite beverage, smoke or other. (Keep off the "Crack" though)
So Mr. B? Can you see Paradise by the Dashboard Lights? If not, just sleep on it, and give me your answer in the morning. Just don't wait for end of time to hurry up and arrive OK?
Swez
PS For those in the dark about Meatloaf, he's another topic we sometimes dip in to. Meatloaf had several great hits, back in the late 80's. Very unique tunes and lyrics. For a relatively unknown artist, he had a big following in some cities in the Midwest. He came out of Detroit originally. One very talented dude! Look him up and have a listen. "Bat out Hell" and best of as well.
MrBrownstone on 12/23/2005 14:38:48
Don't try to look young, he had hits in the late 70s!!!!! and a revamping in like, 1995 or 96. At any rate,...
Red Green is best watched with some VERY inexpensive beer, and Very expensive Swisher Sweets. I don't smoke, but if you do, that's the ones to smoke.
Red Green is the Larry the Cable Guy for Canada. ONly, he's been a 'North Woods' redneck for over 30 years. The show started like 12years ago, and they've been recycling the same old hat since.
When you see the greatest hits collection, you have to ask yourself, how did they come up with enough material over 12 years to fit on one DVD? You could have a couple of episodes of ER or something on the end.
ttocs on 12/23/2005 19:06:18
swisher sweets? You are how close to the boarder and all the cuban cigars you could smuggle in you go to your gass station?
swez on 12/24/2005 00:22:35
Hey, never though of that one... Cuban grown Cohiba's like 9.5 on a 10 scale. The Churchill is very popular and pretty pricey too. ($30.00 a pop) from the UK.
Cohiba Esplendidos
Name: Cohiba Esplendidos
Brand: Cohiba
Factory Name: Julieta
Size: 178 x 18.65 mm
Ring: 47
Weight: 15.07 gr.
Presentation: 2 Layers in a varnished Semi Boite Nature of 25
Hand-Made Cuban Cigar
Score: 9.5 out of 10
Qualities: What can be said about this Julieta from Cohiba, in which the brand has put all its knowledge? To our understanding, it is, along with the Sir Winston from H. Upmann, the best of its format. Deep, rich, generous and with a strength greater than it might seem at first. One of the ten best Habanos of the size range.
I did get a few Cohiba's from a private dealer as a gift one year at Christmas time, when I lived in Chicago. Bought like $600.00 worth of cigars, a humidor, a nipper and a very nice gold lighter as gifts to my best clients. Thank God for expense accounts as this would have been well over my head if it were out-of-pocket.
These were some of the best cigars I could find. The Cohiba's were just a personal bonus for all the business I gave him that year. Hummm, talk about burning money? That's about it when buying expensive cigars.
Now, I do indulge on Muriel Negro Sweets. (Black and Mild I think) These come in a twin pack like cigarettes, have the flavor of brandy or some kind of fancy liquor in them and really low budget. (40 for under $3.00)
Really like em when out fishing the local streams, playing a round of golf and such. They burn slow, have a pleasing taste and last a long time too. The only problem... they go out real easy on their own. Have to flick the Bic a few times, to keep em lite. In fact, I'll have one now.
Sinfully yours,
Swez
Victor on 12/24/2005 16:48:10
WOW.... Just been traveling too for a few installs... tried to keep updated with the site... but not been here since 2 days..
And today when i log on, its a shock to see the Ol'man escape the jail and survive all the torture..... now he's all over the place..If any of you got pets at home, its advisable not to let them out un-attended, hehe...
Welcome back Dave..
Wish you all Merry Christmas.
Enjoy.
Victor...
MrBrownstone on 12/25/2005 03:21:07
First thing Swez did when he got back to Michigan is sit on a bag of ice. He said his '...arse was sore from the 1.5day drive." but I'm not so certain it wasn't from the time in Hazard County jail.
At any rate, Swez
I live 3.8miles from Tijuana. Technically, Hell is only a a long walk or a short drive. I can get anything legal or not, authentic or faux....no need to go Cuban on the cigs. I don't like smoke on anything except barbeque ribs.
$600 and a nipper? what are you dating a Jewish girl?
HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhh!!
swez on 12/25/2005 13:32:05
The humidor was about $150, the "nippers" were about $20.00 and the lighter was about $85.00 The rest of the bill was in filling the humidor with some very good cigars. ($8 - 15.00 a pop) I think there were about 40 cigars in all.
FYI: The "Nipper" is like a pair of surgical scissors. They have a large head and work similar to pruning shears. One uses them to lop off a small portion of a cigar, to get a good flow of smoke. They look like this:
Nippers:
http://www.davidoffmadison.com/index.jp?edge=shop.itemDetail
Humidor: Product ID: 500116 is similar to the one I bought.
http://www.2guyssmokeshop.com/humidors.asp
(Desktop humidors section)
Jewish g/f? I don't know many Jewish girls and the ones I have met in the past... Drama Queens to the Nth degree. (all of them) Same deal with Italian gals... they can be so loud and very dramatic as well. No thanks you!
The two best women I have ever dated, were both Brazilians. All I can say is WOW!!! Come to think of it, they were a bit on the dramatic side too. (but in a good way)
Both were very expressive, very sensual and fantastic kissers. Liz was a wonderful friend and very sensual. I met her in Boston, at a trade show and she lived in Jersey. We spent about 2.5 years in a long distance relationship. If it weren't for her 2 children, marriage would have been a definite possiblity.
Patti was a fantasic kisser!!! When kissing this woman, you wanted to keep your eyes open to see how she did all that. This gal knew what kissing was all about and was simply amazing, WOW, over the top, off the hook!!! Met her at a trade show in Chicago. She moved to Florida on a job and I lived in Michigan. We had a great week together in Chicago. (and no, we didn't do the "Horizontal Mombo" thing either) But it did not matter. Just kissing was enough to light anyones fire.
It's nice to reflect on some "old flames" huh?
Merry Christmas to all,
Swez
PS Send more ice please. The other option is to go outside and sit in a snow bank for 30 mins.
PSS Are you going to call me back or what dude?
MrBrownstone on 12/26/2005 16:12:13
CMon Swez, hasn't anyone said, "I'll call you" before?
:-)
TOnight, I'm free...provided I don't get held up in Licker, again.
PS Playing SuckFace with a Pollock means owning a vacuum cleaner
Harvester on 12/26/2005 23:37:28
Yes....I now understand the lunacy.......as for 4 legged animals...sheep would run about 27th in my list....pickles are #1......and as for cigar smokin' jewish brazillians and their vacuum cleaners...??....??..............................??
Victor on 12/27/2005 14:11:35
What does that mean,,,,,???...lol
swez on 12/27/2005 17:30:38
Hey Bonehead, he did not use ,,,,,!!! He used ......!!!
It generally means fill in the blanks, excetera or colorful language w/o being rude.
Swez
PS Geez-O-Peas.... Kids these days, are just not up to par. Don't they teach anything useful in schools anymore? GRIN
MrBrownstone on 12/27/2005 19:22:41
Swez
I believe we should discontinue the student loan programs. We got kids that take foreign language and international relations studies just so girls can flash their boobs in Foreign countries.
That, or when you go to a bathroom @ 'The U' you get graffiti in 7 languages.
And now, kids are dating their teachers. They grow up fast now. They go from Puberty to Adultery.
And you kids got no respect for your elders. I saw a young boy scout (Victor) helping an old lady 1/2 way across the street.
Because of these kids, JoAnn Fabric and Paper Warehouse just started a new line of party supplies. They now make Graduation gowns in Maternity sizes.
And they are so dumb, yet considerate...I heard the new trend in saving money in college....kids are saving their parents a lot of money this year by flunking out last year.
NO AMBITION AT ALL IN THESE KIDS
I recently was asked to take an aptitude test so that College kids could be compared to actual working professionals. They took all age groups: 15-25, 26-34, 35-49, 50-65, and 65+.
They found that the average lazy college student was best suited for early retirement.
END RANT
swez on 12/28/2005 14:50:23
LOL.... that was classic comedy Mr. B. CLAP
I know what ya mean about our future leaders. It's kinda scary too. An example might help...
Yesterday, a few of us guys went to a local schlum-bum restaurant in the rough side of town. As we were drinking coffee and planning the rest of our day, this huge group of like 6 kids and 2 adults, came slobbering into the room. The oldest kid, (maybe 15) had a lip pin, an eye thingy, tongue thingy and ears pierced too. Mind you, this was a lad, not a lassy. He also wore one of those brown stocking hats.
I glanced at him, as did the other guys at our table and almost fell on the floor in laughter. Then it came to me, this guy should get a full length Duster cap. Ya know, the kind that starts at the peak on his head and rolls down well past his knees. (kinda like a full body condome)
Then, I glanced at his parents. OK, this all makes sense now. They looked like drop outs from HOBO Pre-school too.
I like watching people as they come and go. Sometimes they seem so interesting, I'll start chatting with them too. For the most part, the age group above 25, are pretty interesting people and seem to have things together.
I also find it very interesting to chat with "Seniors". (65 - 85) The ones who have seen so many things in life, yet still live like it's the 50's. They talk about the good ol days, their kids, the Service, their former jobs and even political and religious experiences. Some are just so facinatingly sharp at 75, they have minds like a steal trap and recall things in great detail, that they experienced 30-50 years ago. Funny thing is, they cannot recall where they left the cane or walker. The long term memory is working just fine. The short term stuff, is all a fuddle.
My favorites are the "liitle people". The kiddos that are under age 8. they can chat up a storm about almost nothing. They sing, dance, hop a round like chimps and life is just one big birthday party for them. I relate best to this age group as this is about where my emotional and intellectual growth stopped. We speak the same language! hehe
Teenagers? Oh boy, that's a different can of woims. Moody, disrespectful, contentious and rebellious is what I see at the local high school at 2:05 PM. They don't know what sidewaks are for. They walk in the street, 5-8 across and just taunt the drivers of cars, to mow them down. If the driver just tweets the horn, they all turn, give the single diget salute and fill the air with bird talk. (foul language)
Of coarse, in one day, this can all change. Once they get their driver's license, the shoe is on another foot. Now, they know what it's like to drive and have a bunch of bone heads blocking the road. Funny how much one small card, can change a teenager's attitudes. It's like a miracle transformation takes place. They either drive like an 80 year old grandmaw, (10:00, 2:00 with white knuckles) or a madman that was just let out of the loony bin.
In a way, that seems appropriate as most high schools are just that... a place the loonies have to go, until they graduate or drop out. I just don't get it man. When I was a teen, it was "Yes Sir, Yes Mame" and Mr. X and Mrs. Y. That's how I was taught to address my elders. Times have sure changed. But not for the better I fear.
END RANT too
Swez
MrBrownstone on 12/28/2005 16:07:44
Swez & Mr B talking....much ado about nothing.
We owe a copyright infringement/licensing fee to Shakespeare.
-Mr B, Poet/Bard
ttocs on 12/28/2005 18:25:25
It depends on the kid, I don't care what they look like. I do a high school mentoring program at my work. It includes going to the school and telling the kids my job and what it takes to get it, tours of the fab facility, as well as a week-long technology based summer camp for juniors and seniors. Some of the kids with the piercings are some of the smartest, and some of the nicest. There was one at the school I went to that you wouldn't want your daughter to bring home, but gave tours to grade school kids that they were trying to get in their program. He did a good job, of course the kids could not help but to stare at him...
Last night I had dinner at an old friends house with his wife and 2 boys(3 and 6). I had a good time playing with them and their new christmas toys. They are very well behaved but I think that is due to the fact that they know I am in the group of close friends that has permission, and will get their attention if I need to in any means possable....
I do not have any kids of my own nor really want any. I like that I can give them back when I am ready for my nap......
swez on 12/28/2005 19:47:13
I stand corrected and you're right... don't judge a book by the cover. Thanks ttocs!
Swez
ttocs on 12/29/2005 10:06:11
I'm not sayin don't keep yer eye on them, just keep your ears open as well.....
swez on 12/29/2005 11:11:30
It's kinda funny as I look back at what was "all the rage" in my HS years. Long hair, beards and mustachios, bell-bottom jeans, hip huggers and platform shoes. This was the early-mid 70's.
Yes, we had pot, LSD, uppers/downers, smack and other such things floating by from the late 60's, but few of the peeps I hung with used none of them. Was a jock and a musician then. Had no time for that sort of stuff. Was too focused on studies, swimming and music. Had a steady g/f for Junior/Senior years. She was a "Majorette" and actually a very bright girl too. (well, mayby not that bright, as she chose to hang out with me) Pretty lil thing too! SMILE
Anyway, we were raised to respect our elders. (Teachers, fellow students and other adults) I was (and still am) a rebel. Always looked outside the box and lived on the fringes of "Gee, what's this all about"... investigate and see if I can learn something from it.
This was a working middle class school. We had few (if any) snotty rich kids in the mix of 300+ in our grad class. For the most part, we knew our places and had a few cliques, but music and athletics were my pastimes. Yes, tried beer, wine, the hard stuff a few times and even a few J's. Gave that up when some a-hole passed one around, laced with "Angle Dust". That was a rough night and had flashbacks for months. (more like "panic attacks" I would say)
So, who am I to judge other? Now, "inspecting the fruit" is as far as it goes. Meaning, are they honest, loyal, trustworthy, interesting, whitty and intelligent. Those are the peeps I look for to hang with now.
We certainly have a bunch of them here at CK. That's why I come here so often. A truly awsome bunch of skilled techs, craftsmen, inventors and just plain good people too. I have learned a lot since we first joined CK. (What? late 1999?) This place just seems to be getting better all the time. CLAP
Swez
MrBrownstone on 12/29/2005 13:59:11
Swez
You are the Rodney Dangerfield of this place. You get 'No Respect' I tell ya...
swez on 12/30/2005 10:51:58
It appears so huh?
Guess some opinions are best kept to ones' self. But ya know, it's good to not take life too seriously. Gotta learn how to laugh at ourselves and see the irony of everday events.
For example: Was out in the garage last night, just puttering around and chatting with a buddy in N. Carolina. Was late and pretty tired when I came in. Also, had a few beers on an empty stomach. Me thinks it was 1 beer to many. (only 3 cans)
Anyway, came inside, set the house alarm but forgot to disable the motion detector circuit. Went to the basement to get out of my "grubbies" and into jammies. Went back upstairs, made a small snack and headed to my room for TV and lights out.
As I passed through the motion detector field, all he** broke loose. The siren & strobes went off, and I scrambled to the key pad to disarm the system. Dang...not fast enough...
Two minutes later, the alarm company calls. Nutz.... where's that stupid phone? So, they call my parents in Florida and advise of the event. I get a call from my Dad... "What's up son? Did you trip the motion detector?" Yep, I sure did.
A few more minutes go by and the doorbell is ringing. Now what? Go to the door and it's the local Police, checking on the alarm trip. OK, we got that settled and all is well.
I finally get back to my meal and TV and again, the phone rings... again! It's my brother saying they just got a call from Brinks Security systems. Alarm was tripped and they are on the call list too. (This time, had the phone handy) "Yeah, everythings cool here. Forgot to disable the motion detector... Good night nurse!!!"
So, what did we learn last night?
1. The alarm system works like a charm
2. A "bunch of people", get into the act when tripped
3. The whole fam-damily now knows I was half loopy last night
4. Always know where the nearest phone is
5. Don't forget to disable the motion detector system while roaming the house (in my underware) LOL
6. The local Po-lice "can" take a joke (that's good to know)
7. Don't even try to operate complex electronic alarm systems when ya feel "loopy" (just leave the darn thing off and just lock the doors)
It wasn't so funny at the time, but as I reflect on things now... it's hilarious. Am definitely laughing at my own foolishness now. So, thought I'd share the chuckles with any who care to read this nonsense.
Swez GRIN
PS Mr. B. Take note of this one eh? Maybe we should meet and start attending AA meetings together. "Hello, my name is DPS and I have a...." err, uhmmm, wrong meeting here.
Anyway, Happy New Year folks!!! I started celebrating a bit early this year, because retailer's started the Christmas season a week before Thanksgiving. If they can do it, why not us too?
MrBrownstone on 12/30/2005 14:06:55
So you tripped the alarm, huh?
Sounds like the most excitement you've had since the Cosby show went off the air the 1st time. That, or since Michael Dukakis ran for President!!
Yes sir, you are correct, you should not be operating anything complicated with such a simple, yet inebriated mind. Any man who gets wasted on 3 beers is either a Quaker, or needs a full body transplant. The question is, are there any parts on Swez that still work?
I did read the police report:
"..Mr Swezene, due to public intoxication laws, we need determine if you have been driving under the influence. Blood, Breath or urine?(testing)"
Mr Swezene, "NO thanks, I'm full. Ociffer, take me drunk, I'm Home. I'm not as drunk as thinkle Peep I am."
At any rate,
"Hi, my name is Brian, and I'm an Alcoho....wait, wrong meeting"
Swez is making light to a phrase of mine that I use in company meetings.....in fact, whenever we sit in a large group, and someone asks 'the new people' to introduce themselves, it's my standard opening line.
Swez, you should not be drinking. I heard from your last girlfriend, the hippie..you know, the one that shaved her legs with a weedeater?!?!?!???
She said that intoxicated, you can' t operate her. From what she told me, "...he has seven places it can go, but only 3 it can fit.."
Please esplain the 3rd one to the rest of us.....
PS I believe your parents had the alarm installed so that they could keep rifraff like YOU out...looks like it worked.
swez on 12/31/2005 07:40:53
Hehehe, those are all good observations and yes, 3 "tall" beers on an empty stomach, seem to be all that was needed to foul the mind. Guess I'm not a big drinker huh? Heck, you could put me under the table in less than 1 hour.
Actually, my former g/f, used to let me shave her legs at times. (used lawn mover blades) She handles the pits and facial hair and sometimes, let me do the .... well, you know. Actually, this was a very interesting twist on foreplay. (very intimate way of grooming huh?)
Then, we'd change roles and then broke out the painters drop cloth, a pint of warmed baby oil and... "Hey, it's massage time!" After about 2 hours of this activity, let the games begin. About 15-20 minutes of phun and it's snuggle time and off to dream land.
If you ever get the chance, (a willing lab partner) try it. Would be happy to outline the steps for you too... but not here and now.
Yes, my parents are trying to keep out the riff-raff. All these unemloyed "Crack-heads", need someway to pay for their next fix. This system is definitely doing the job. It caught me totally by surprise, and I even knew it was there. So much for walking about the house in my underware while impared.
The Po-lice could not charge me with a DUI as I was not anywhere near a car. However, they may pass a local ordinance, banning the practice of getting looped at home and walking around in skivies?
Wondering what that would be called? WAD? (Walking About Drunk)???
Your turn to have some funny comebacks, SMILE
Swez
MrBrownstone on 12/31/2005 17:10:39
Swez
The last thing we wanted was to hear about your lovelife. Of course, in school, we are required to study ancient history, so now I see what suffering we put kids through in schools.
I think I threw up in my mouth, a little.
I know he was on the way to his parent's winter home in Florida. Florida, where the average age is deceased.
Replies (51)
Victor on 12/12/2005 04:27:06
I just saw swez on TV "History's, Lost and Found".
montego_27 on 12/12/2005 05:44:44
I think i just saw him on TV's"Americas Least Wanted"! No seriously, he must have a good CK jones goin' on by now.Would not doubt it if he's in Georgia somewhere, going door to door asking people to use their computer! Can you spare a few posts?
ttocs on 12/12/2005 11:01:35
If he is travaling at his average speed, he will not get there till next week.. You should be starting to understand how the snowbirds work now that you are in socal.... They are all over the roads here now. Suddenly there are cars all over here, doing 45 in the fast lane and taking up two parking spaces. I am normally trying to figure out if there is anything attached to the knuckles holding the towncars steering wheel, that is all you can see..........
I also notice alot more sirens and flashing lights during winter, you cannot get a bed in a hospital either.......
MrBrownstone on 12/12/2005 21:32:03
I just hope he's not in a redneck jail or something.
Victor on 12/13/2005 00:21:26
Just wondering on how would they torture him in a redneck jail....?
compvr15s on 12/13/2005 01:33:23
they would probably have him restrained with various 4-legged farm animals just out of his reach....
Victor on 12/13/2005 15:52:22
This is something really really funny, try it out....
Go to www.google.com
select the " language tools" link
type in " Swez's mom is very nice " in the "translate text box"
select the option (english to spanish) and click "translate" wait for the translation to be done,
next - copy that translated spanish sentence and paste it again in the "translate text box" and select the reverse, (spanish to english) and click "translate" button, wait for the translation and you will not stop laughing...
GRIN
Victor..
compvr15s on 12/13/2005 16:30:29
lol that is pretty good. nice find victor
MrBrownstone on 12/13/2005 21:18:55
QUOTE: "they would probably have him restrained with various 4-legged farm animals just out of his reach...."
I think that says it all.
Victor on 12/17/2005 04:59:03
Swez needs an attorney to get out of Jail, he can no longer take the torture... whose gonna volunteer for it..??
But hey he's gonna pay u in sheeps and goats. no $$$$.... hehehe
MrBrownstone on 12/17/2005 20:39:57
Actually, I heard he'd pay me in 'shine. 190 proof of his innocence. After being in a jail in the 'deep south' there won't be much innocence left in the old boy.
I hope he's able to defend himself. DELIVERANCE of Swez from the bondage of a southern jail may be harder than separating a redneck from his tanktop and Camaro
compvr15s on 12/18/2005 06:07:45
"i bet u can squeel like a pig." weeee grunt grunt weee.. lol never thought that movie would ever be spoken of on a car audio forum
ttocs on 12/18/2005 09:47:08
he has a real pretty mouth too.....
Harvester on 12/18/2005 10:51:04
ting ting ting clank clank......I hear banjo music...
MrBrownstone on 12/19/2005 01:38:35
sooooooey! Soo, Soo Soo WEEEEEE!!!
When 'Dad' gets home, he's gonna have a few things to say. That's what you get for saying "...I'm in Macon,GA..." on a post.
I left him a phone message, but no response.
MrBrownstone on 12/20/2005 21:30:58
I am putting out a reward for Swez.
Since we get 4 dollars for a muskrat, I'm offering $1.32 for information regarding the arrest or hide of Swez.
P0werLifter on 12/21/2005 02:47:38
Maybe I should give him a ring, never seen him gone this long. Maybe he's gone "hoggin"?
BgDustin4 on 12/21/2005 16:49:40
for real he has been gone a long time
MrBrownstone on 12/22/2005 00:26:54
I called him a couple of days ago, with no reply. email also no reply. I'm sure he's just out there in Florida suffering through 80 degree heat.
Poor guy, he may actually have to take a shower once a week whether he needs it or not.
swez on 12/22/2005 13:18:31
Alright, I have come back to CK to vidicate myself and set things straight...
1. Yeah, I missed this bunch of audio misfits and the fun we always have here
2. No, I was not put in the "Pokie" in Macon, GA (but they did come a lookin fer me)
3. It took 4 days and 3 nights to get from Detroit to Southwest Florida
4. I made it back in 1-1/2 days (1,200 miles in 19.5 hours driving... err, flying low)
5. Rented a neat car too. (A Hyundai Sonata) This is one quick little Sedan dudes! Even the stock radio was better than average. Have a look:
http://www.hyundaiusa.com/vehicle/sonata/trim/glsv6.aspx
6. Showers? Yep, had several days of showers (and heavy rains) this short trip. It rained 3 days in a row and we only had 4 days of sun between the 9th - 20th) Cool days too. Only had 3 days above 65. The rest were cool or rainy days. (Better than the 10" of snow back in Michigan and there, it did not get above 30 degrees since the 3rd of December.
7. As you can probably tell, I did not Internet services this trip. I did get one night in a hotel with it, but had little time to use it. I did borrow a neighbor's phone line for an hour to do some e-mails. But, had a hard time getting service for more than a few minutes at a time, before getting booted out.
8. Hey B, I did get your phone message and sent you an SMS text message on excite.com. Guess you did not get it? I lost your phone number by erasing old messages. (Tried to get you to call me back via the text message too)
Anyway, am now back in Detroit as of 9:00 PM, 12/21/05. I just got home, plowed the driveway and went to bed early. Had to get up early to return the rental car, have breakfast with my twin brother and sister-in-law and finally respond to this posting.
Even though some poke fun, I can take a joke! Call off the "possie" and let's get back to normal. (Whatever that is?)
In the words of an old Dave Mason song... (circa mid-70's) "It's good to be home".
Merry Christmas to all, and a bright New Year on 2006!
Swez GRIN
MrBrownstone on 12/22/2005 14:07:39
No I did not get a message @ my email or my phone. However, because of your return, I need to know who to send the $1.32 muskrat bounty to?
MrBrownstone on 12/22/2005 14:09:09
Also glad to hear you are still 'saving yourself' for the right...errr...nevermind.
Welcome back to Possum Lodge
swez on 12/22/2005 17:45:03
It's OK... you can keep the $1.32 Bounty. I am "flush" with the priceless things that cannot be measured in $$$'s or cents.
Keep your stick on the Ice,
Red Green
Sr. Fellow; Possum Lodge
PS Yes, I am still saving, for that special someone 2006 might be the year. Ya never know!!!?
Harvester on 12/23/2005 03:38:48
wtf...
swez on 12/23/2005 08:56:14
WTF??? Must be one of those World Tag-team Federation wrestling acronyms I guess??? Who are the "Big Dogs" on that circus?
Harvester, Good to meet you and welcome to CK!
What may not be appearent, is that Mr. B, ttocs and I, go way back on this forum to about 1999. We have gotten pretty looney as the years sped by. That's what happens when you answer the same questions about 200 times a month. Hang around for a year and you'll see what I mean.
Anyway, there are a lot of coded messages in some of our banter. So, don't even try to catch on... it'll just give ya a headache. Also, we are a PG site and "colorful language" is screened and deleted by those with access to Admin functions. That's one feature CK does very well... keep it clean, friendly and devoid of "bird talk". (foul language)
So, what barn yard buddies do you like best? Sheep, goats, pigs, chickens, goose or the larger 4 legged critters? Many like the sheep. Once they have had a date with one, "there will never be another Ewe".
There was a pretty funny movie with Gene Wilder (circa early 90's?)and his favorite Sheep. He took that Ewe everywhere, dressed it up in Victoria Secret "unmentionables" and went to classy hotels together. The story line was pure lunacy, but in Wilder's exploits... the plot was pretty darn funny.
OK, now we know who the looney tunes are on this site. Don't tell anyone though. We might get locked up in Macon, GA.
Swez GRIN
ttocs on 12/23/2005 10:18:40
Yea, never met swez er B but I know them better then I think I know alot of people..............
I how ever have never thought much about my favorite animal, I'm sure Mr B can give his top 10 list..........
Welcome back swez.
MrBrownstone on 12/23/2005 13:39:54
I'd like to give you a top 10, but Swez said ewe were the only 1!!!
I think dear old Dad (Swez) has slightly underestimated the 200 times we've answered the same question. This is why I've gotten quite lazy and sent FAQs to board members because we've been there and done that. I will, however, give you a top 10 questions asked repeatedly and beaten to death:
10. What Brand of Cap is better?
9. Do I really need bigger wire?
8. Why is Boss $199 and Crossfire $499 for the same 1000W?
7. How much distortion will kill my speakers?
6. Can I mix N match subwoofers?
5. Why can't I just put any sub in any box?
4. A speaker rated 91db@ 2W @ 1/2meter is 2x as loud as 88, right?
3. I have this ringing sound in my system when the car is running.
2. Why didn't putting $8/ft speaker wire improve the sound like the sales guy said it would.
1. Which manufacturer makes the best: Sub, amp, wire, CD, dynamat?
I gotta tell ya, if everybody picked up Richard Clark's $10 book about car audio from like 6 years ago, we wouldn't need a forum except to share stories and speculate on how they are treating Swez in 'the joint.'
USFLAG
MrBrownstone on 12/23/2005 13:44:43
Swez & I use code words because we have both watched the Red Green Show (10pm PBS) at least 75 of the 250 episodes. I personally own about 20 episodes through greatest hits, and 1 book and 1 dvd of the thing. At any rate,...
When you get to be old, like 27, you develop a comraderie amongst each other. Because of our past experiences, we have over 300 euphanisms for body parts, bodily functions, hoochies, prison culture, and much more. The longer you've had a heartbeat, the more likely you've heard one.
Do yourself a favor, tape the Red Green show, and you'll know how Swez and Mr B operate. There will be no more secrets of home improvement, installation, and reasons for city ordinances.
For every law, there's some idiot that's made it necessary.
swez on 12/23/2005 14:00:22
I could not say anything better than that Ol boy! Thanks for the spell check on Ewe's. It didn't look right as Yew, but I was not awake enough to check it out.
May the "Red Green Show" and the Possum Lodge player, rule forever! If you have never seen this show of lunatics, find it on cable or PBS and get ready to laugh your fannies off. The comedy is actually very subtle and very fast paced at times. One has to be very sharp or "stoned" on thier favorite beverage, smoke or other. (Keep off the "Crack" though)
So Mr. B? Can you see Paradise by the Dashboard Lights? If not, just sleep on it, and give me your answer in the morning. Just don't wait for end of time to hurry up and arrive OK?
Swez
PS For those in the dark about Meatloaf, he's another topic we sometimes dip in to. Meatloaf had several great hits, back in the late 80's. Very unique tunes and lyrics. For a relatively unknown artist, he had a big following in some cities in the Midwest. He came out of Detroit originally. One very talented dude! Look him up and have a listen. "Bat out Hell" and best of as well.
MrBrownstone on 12/23/2005 14:38:48
Don't try to look young, he had hits in the late 70s!!!!! and a revamping in like, 1995 or 96. At any rate,...
Red Green is best watched with some VERY inexpensive beer, and Very expensive Swisher Sweets. I don't smoke, but if you do, that's the ones to smoke.
Red Green is the Larry the Cable Guy for Canada. ONly, he's been a 'North Woods' redneck for over 30 years. The show started like 12years ago, and they've been recycling the same old hat since.
When you see the greatest hits collection, you have to ask yourself, how did they come up with enough material over 12 years to fit on one DVD? You could have a couple of episodes of ER or something on the end.
ttocs on 12/23/2005 19:06:18
swisher sweets? You are how close to the boarder and all the cuban cigars you could smuggle in you go to your gass station?
swez on 12/24/2005 00:22:35
Hey, never though of that one... Cuban grown Cohiba's like 9.5 on a 10 scale. The Churchill is very popular and pretty pricey too. ($30.00 a pop) from the UK.
Cohiba Esplendidos
Name: Cohiba Esplendidos
Brand: Cohiba
Factory Name: Julieta
Size: 178 x 18.65 mm
Ring: 47
Weight: 15.07 gr.
Presentation: 2 Layers in a varnished Semi Boite Nature of 25
Hand-Made Cuban Cigar
Score: 9.5 out of 10
Qualities: What can be said about this Julieta from Cohiba, in which the brand has put all its knowledge? To our understanding, it is, along with the Sir Winston from H. Upmann, the best of its format. Deep, rich, generous and with a strength greater than it might seem at first. One of the ten best Habanos of the size range.
I did get a few Cohiba's from a private dealer as a gift one year at Christmas time, when I lived in Chicago. Bought like $600.00 worth of cigars, a humidor, a nipper and a very nice gold lighter as gifts to my best clients. Thank God for expense accounts as this would have been well over my head if it were out-of-pocket.
These were some of the best cigars I could find. The Cohiba's were just a personal bonus for all the business I gave him that year. Hummm, talk about burning money? That's about it when buying expensive cigars.
Now, I do indulge on Muriel Negro Sweets. (Black and Mild I think) These come in a twin pack like cigarettes, have the flavor of brandy or some kind of fancy liquor in them and really low budget. (40 for under $3.00)
Really like em when out fishing the local streams, playing a round of golf and such. They burn slow, have a pleasing taste and last a long time too. The only problem... they go out real easy on their own. Have to flick the Bic a few times, to keep em lite. In fact, I'll have one now.
Sinfully yours,
Swez
Victor on 12/24/2005 16:48:10
WOW.... Just been traveling too for a few installs... tried to keep updated with the site... but not been here since 2 days..
And today when i log on, its a shock to see the Ol'man escape the jail and survive all the torture..... now he's all over the place..If any of you got pets at home, its advisable not to let them out un-attended, hehe...
Welcome back Dave..
Wish you all Merry Christmas.
Enjoy.
Victor...
MrBrownstone on 12/25/2005 03:21:07
First thing Swez did when he got back to Michigan is sit on a bag of ice. He said his '...arse was sore from the 1.5day drive." but I'm not so certain it wasn't from the time in Hazard County jail.
At any rate, Swez
I live 3.8miles from Tijuana. Technically, Hell is only a a long walk or a short drive. I can get anything legal or not, authentic or faux....no need to go Cuban on the cigs. I don't like smoke on anything except barbeque ribs.
$600 and a nipper? what are you dating a Jewish girl?
HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhh!!
swez on 12/25/2005 13:32:05
The humidor was about $150, the "nippers" were about $20.00 and the lighter was about $85.00 The rest of the bill was in filling the humidor with some very good cigars. ($8 - 15.00 a pop) I think there were about 40 cigars in all.
FYI: The "Nipper" is like a pair of surgical scissors. They have a large head and work similar to pruning shears. One uses them to lop off a small portion of a cigar, to get a good flow of smoke. They look like this:
Nippers:
http://www.davidoffmadison.com/index.jp?edge=shop.itemDetail
Humidor: Product ID: 500116 is similar to the one I bought.
http://www.2guyssmokeshop.com/humidors.asp
(Desktop humidors section)
Jewish g/f? I don't know many Jewish girls and the ones I have met in the past... Drama Queens to the Nth degree. (all of them) Same deal with Italian gals... they can be so loud and very dramatic as well. No thanks you!
The two best women I have ever dated, were both Brazilians. All I can say is WOW!!! Come to think of it, they were a bit on the dramatic side too. (but in a good way)
Both were very expressive, very sensual and fantastic kissers. Liz was a wonderful friend and very sensual. I met her in Boston, at a trade show and she lived in Jersey. We spent about 2.5 years in a long distance relationship. If it weren't for her 2 children, marriage would have been a definite possiblity.
Patti was a fantasic kisser!!! When kissing this woman, you wanted to keep your eyes open to see how she did all that. This gal knew what kissing was all about and was simply amazing, WOW, over the top, off the hook!!! Met her at a trade show in Chicago. She moved to Florida on a job and I lived in Michigan. We had a great week together in Chicago. (and no, we didn't do the "Horizontal Mombo" thing either) But it did not matter. Just kissing was enough to light anyones fire.
It's nice to reflect on some "old flames" huh?
Merry Christmas to all,
Swez
PS Send more ice please. The other option is to go outside and sit in a snow bank for 30 mins.
PSS Are you going to call me back or what dude?
MrBrownstone on 12/26/2005 16:12:13
CMon Swez, hasn't anyone said, "I'll call you" before?
:-)
TOnight, I'm free...provided I don't get held up in Licker, again.
PS Playing SuckFace with a Pollock means owning a vacuum cleaner
Harvester on 12/26/2005 23:37:28
Yes....I now understand the lunacy.......as for 4 legged animals...sheep would run about 27th in my list....pickles are #1......and as for cigar smokin' jewish brazillians and their vacuum cleaners...??....??..............................??
Victor on 12/27/2005 14:11:35
What does that mean,,,,,???...lol
swez on 12/27/2005 17:30:38
Hey Bonehead, he did not use ,,,,,!!! He used ......!!!
It generally means fill in the blanks, excetera or colorful language w/o being rude.
Swez
PS Geez-O-Peas.... Kids these days, are just not up to par. Don't they teach anything useful in schools anymore? GRIN
MrBrownstone on 12/27/2005 19:22:41
Swez
I believe we should discontinue the student loan programs. We got kids that take foreign language and international relations studies just so girls can flash their boobs in Foreign countries.
That, or when you go to a bathroom @ 'The U' you get graffiti in 7 languages.
And now, kids are dating their teachers. They grow up fast now. They go from Puberty to Adultery.
And you kids got no respect for your elders. I saw a young boy scout (Victor) helping an old lady 1/2 way across the street.
Because of these kids, JoAnn Fabric and Paper Warehouse just started a new line of party supplies. They now make Graduation gowns in Maternity sizes.
And they are so dumb, yet considerate...I heard the new trend in saving money in college....kids are saving their parents a lot of money this year by flunking out last year.
NO AMBITION AT ALL IN THESE KIDS
I recently was asked to take an aptitude test so that College kids could be compared to actual working professionals. They took all age groups: 15-25, 26-34, 35-49, 50-65, and 65+.
They found that the average lazy college student was best suited for early retirement.
END RANT
swez on 12/28/2005 14:50:23
LOL.... that was classic comedy Mr. B. CLAP
I know what ya mean about our future leaders. It's kinda scary too. An example might help...
Yesterday, a few of us guys went to a local schlum-bum restaurant in the rough side of town. As we were drinking coffee and planning the rest of our day, this huge group of like 6 kids and 2 adults, came slobbering into the room. The oldest kid, (maybe 15) had a lip pin, an eye thingy, tongue thingy and ears pierced too. Mind you, this was a lad, not a lassy. He also wore one of those brown stocking hats.
I glanced at him, as did the other guys at our table and almost fell on the floor in laughter. Then it came to me, this guy should get a full length Duster cap. Ya know, the kind that starts at the peak on his head and rolls down well past his knees. (kinda like a full body condome)
Then, I glanced at his parents. OK, this all makes sense now. They looked like drop outs from HOBO Pre-school too.
I like watching people as they come and go. Sometimes they seem so interesting, I'll start chatting with them too. For the most part, the age group above 25, are pretty interesting people and seem to have things together.
I also find it very interesting to chat with "Seniors". (65 - 85) The ones who have seen so many things in life, yet still live like it's the 50's. They talk about the good ol days, their kids, the Service, their former jobs and even political and religious experiences. Some are just so facinatingly sharp at 75, they have minds like a steal trap and recall things in great detail, that they experienced 30-50 years ago. Funny thing is, they cannot recall where they left the cane or walker. The long term memory is working just fine. The short term stuff, is all a fuddle.
My favorites are the "liitle people". The kiddos that are under age 8. they can chat up a storm about almost nothing. They sing, dance, hop a round like chimps and life is just one big birthday party for them. I relate best to this age group as this is about where my emotional and intellectual growth stopped. We speak the same language! hehe
Teenagers? Oh boy, that's a different can of woims. Moody, disrespectful, contentious and rebellious is what I see at the local high school at 2:05 PM. They don't know what sidewaks are for. They walk in the street, 5-8 across and just taunt the drivers of cars, to mow them down. If the driver just tweets the horn, they all turn, give the single diget salute and fill the air with bird talk. (foul language)
Of coarse, in one day, this can all change. Once they get their driver's license, the shoe is on another foot. Now, they know what it's like to drive and have a bunch of bone heads blocking the road. Funny how much one small card, can change a teenager's attitudes. It's like a miracle transformation takes place. They either drive like an 80 year old grandmaw, (10:00, 2:00 with white knuckles) or a madman that was just let out of the loony bin.
In a way, that seems appropriate as most high schools are just that... a place the loonies have to go, until they graduate or drop out. I just don't get it man. When I was a teen, it was "Yes Sir, Yes Mame" and Mr. X and Mrs. Y. That's how I was taught to address my elders. Times have sure changed. But not for the better I fear.
END RANT too
Swez
MrBrownstone on 12/28/2005 16:07:44
Swez & Mr B talking....much ado about nothing.
We owe a copyright infringement/licensing fee to Shakespeare.
-Mr B, Poet/Bard
ttocs on 12/28/2005 18:25:25
It depends on the kid, I don't care what they look like. I do a high school mentoring program at my work. It includes going to the school and telling the kids my job and what it takes to get it, tours of the fab facility, as well as a week-long technology based summer camp for juniors and seniors. Some of the kids with the piercings are some of the smartest, and some of the nicest. There was one at the school I went to that you wouldn't want your daughter to bring home, but gave tours to grade school kids that they were trying to get in their program. He did a good job, of course the kids could not help but to stare at him...
Last night I had dinner at an old friends house with his wife and 2 boys(3 and 6). I had a good time playing with them and their new christmas toys. They are very well behaved but I think that is due to the fact that they know I am in the group of close friends that has permission, and will get their attention if I need to in any means possable....
I do not have any kids of my own nor really want any. I like that I can give them back when I am ready for my nap......
swez on 12/28/2005 19:47:13
I stand corrected and you're right... don't judge a book by the cover. Thanks ttocs!
Swez
ttocs on 12/29/2005 10:06:11
I'm not sayin don't keep yer eye on them, just keep your ears open as well.....
swez on 12/29/2005 11:11:30
It's kinda funny as I look back at what was "all the rage" in my HS years. Long hair, beards and mustachios, bell-bottom jeans, hip huggers and platform shoes. This was the early-mid 70's.
Yes, we had pot, LSD, uppers/downers, smack and other such things floating by from the late 60's, but few of the peeps I hung with used none of them. Was a jock and a musician then. Had no time for that sort of stuff. Was too focused on studies, swimming and music. Had a steady g/f for Junior/Senior years. She was a "Majorette" and actually a very bright girl too. (well, mayby not that bright, as she chose to hang out with me) Pretty lil thing too! SMILE
Anyway, we were raised to respect our elders. (Teachers, fellow students and other adults) I was (and still am) a rebel. Always looked outside the box and lived on the fringes of "Gee, what's this all about"... investigate and see if I can learn something from it.
This was a working middle class school. We had few (if any) snotty rich kids in the mix of 300+ in our grad class. For the most part, we knew our places and had a few cliques, but music and athletics were my pastimes. Yes, tried beer, wine, the hard stuff a few times and even a few J's. Gave that up when some a-hole passed one around, laced with "Angle Dust". That was a rough night and had flashbacks for months. (more like "panic attacks" I would say)
So, who am I to judge other? Now, "inspecting the fruit" is as far as it goes. Meaning, are they honest, loyal, trustworthy, interesting, whitty and intelligent. Those are the peeps I look for to hang with now.
We certainly have a bunch of them here at CK. That's why I come here so often. A truly awsome bunch of skilled techs, craftsmen, inventors and just plain good people too. I have learned a lot since we first joined CK. (What? late 1999?) This place just seems to be getting better all the time. CLAP
Swez
MrBrownstone on 12/29/2005 13:59:11
Swez
You are the Rodney Dangerfield of this place. You get 'No Respect' I tell ya...
swez on 12/30/2005 10:51:58
It appears so huh?
Guess some opinions are best kept to ones' self. But ya know, it's good to not take life too seriously. Gotta learn how to laugh at ourselves and see the irony of everday events.
For example: Was out in the garage last night, just puttering around and chatting with a buddy in N. Carolina. Was late and pretty tired when I came in. Also, had a few beers on an empty stomach. Me thinks it was 1 beer to many. (only 3 cans)
Anyway, came inside, set the house alarm but forgot to disable the motion detector circuit. Went to the basement to get out of my "grubbies" and into jammies. Went back upstairs, made a small snack and headed to my room for TV and lights out.
As I passed through the motion detector field, all he** broke loose. The siren & strobes went off, and I scrambled to the key pad to disarm the system. Dang...not fast enough...
Two minutes later, the alarm company calls. Nutz.... where's that stupid phone? So, they call my parents in Florida and advise of the event. I get a call from my Dad... "What's up son? Did you trip the motion detector?" Yep, I sure did.
A few more minutes go by and the doorbell is ringing. Now what? Go to the door and it's the local Police, checking on the alarm trip. OK, we got that settled and all is well.
I finally get back to my meal and TV and again, the phone rings... again! It's my brother saying they just got a call from Brinks Security systems. Alarm was tripped and they are on the call list too. (This time, had the phone handy) "Yeah, everythings cool here. Forgot to disable the motion detector... Good night nurse!!!"
So, what did we learn last night?
1. The alarm system works like a charm
2. A "bunch of people", get into the act when tripped
3. The whole fam-damily now knows I was half loopy last night
4. Always know where the nearest phone is
5. Don't forget to disable the motion detector system while roaming the house (in my underware) LOL
6. The local Po-lice "can" take a joke (that's good to know)
7. Don't even try to operate complex electronic alarm systems when ya feel "loopy" (just leave the darn thing off and just lock the doors)
It wasn't so funny at the time, but as I reflect on things now... it's hilarious. Am definitely laughing at my own foolishness now. So, thought I'd share the chuckles with any who care to read this nonsense.
Swez GRIN
PS Mr. B. Take note of this one eh? Maybe we should meet and start attending AA meetings together. "Hello, my name is DPS and I have a...." err, uhmmm, wrong meeting here.
Anyway, Happy New Year folks!!! I started celebrating a bit early this year, because retailer's started the Christmas season a week before Thanksgiving. If they can do it, why not us too?
MrBrownstone on 12/30/2005 14:06:55
So you tripped the alarm, huh?
Sounds like the most excitement you've had since the Cosby show went off the air the 1st time. That, or since Michael Dukakis ran for President!!
Yes sir, you are correct, you should not be operating anything complicated with such a simple, yet inebriated mind. Any man who gets wasted on 3 beers is either a Quaker, or needs a full body transplant. The question is, are there any parts on Swez that still work?
I did read the police report:
"..Mr Swezene, due to public intoxication laws, we need determine if you have been driving under the influence. Blood, Breath or urine?(testing)"
Mr Swezene, "NO thanks, I'm full. Ociffer, take me drunk, I'm Home. I'm not as drunk as thinkle Peep I am."
At any rate,
"Hi, my name is Brian, and I'm an Alcoho....wait, wrong meeting"
Swez is making light to a phrase of mine that I use in company meetings.....in fact, whenever we sit in a large group, and someone asks 'the new people' to introduce themselves, it's my standard opening line.
Swez, you should not be drinking. I heard from your last girlfriend, the hippie..you know, the one that shaved her legs with a weedeater?!?!?!???
She said that intoxicated, you can' t operate her. From what she told me, "...he has seven places it can go, but only 3 it can fit.."
Please esplain the 3rd one to the rest of us.....
PS I believe your parents had the alarm installed so that they could keep rifraff like YOU out...looks like it worked.
swez on 12/31/2005 07:40:53
Hehehe, those are all good observations and yes, 3 "tall" beers on an empty stomach, seem to be all that was needed to foul the mind. Guess I'm not a big drinker huh? Heck, you could put me under the table in less than 1 hour.
Actually, my former g/f, used to let me shave her legs at times. (used lawn mover blades) She handles the pits and facial hair and sometimes, let me do the .... well, you know. Actually, this was a very interesting twist on foreplay. (very intimate way of grooming huh?)
Then, we'd change roles and then broke out the painters drop cloth, a pint of warmed baby oil and... "Hey, it's massage time!" After about 2 hours of this activity, let the games begin. About 15-20 minutes of phun and it's snuggle time and off to dream land.
If you ever get the chance, (a willing lab partner) try it. Would be happy to outline the steps for you too... but not here and now.
Yes, my parents are trying to keep out the riff-raff. All these unemloyed "Crack-heads", need someway to pay for their next fix. This system is definitely doing the job. It caught me totally by surprise, and I even knew it was there. So much for walking about the house in my underware while impared.
The Po-lice could not charge me with a DUI as I was not anywhere near a car. However, they may pass a local ordinance, banning the practice of getting looped at home and walking around in skivies?
Wondering what that would be called? WAD? (Walking About Drunk)???
Your turn to have some funny comebacks, SMILE
Swez
MrBrownstone on 12/31/2005 17:10:39
Swez
The last thing we wanted was to hear about your lovelife. Of course, in school, we are required to study ancient history, so now I see what suffering we put kids through in schools.
I think I threw up in my mouth, a little.
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