havent been on much lately sorry about that, for a period of about 6 months, i have been incredibly busy, and i missed the forum. Seems things are still the same, and everyone is eager to help others. Its nice. Just want to commend you guys and all the golds for doing such a great job around here. Ive learned so much from you guys in the last year and a half or so its unreal. When i first came here, i barely knew anything about car audio, now...i can install just about anything, and am about to put my new system in my nissan 300z i got for graduation. Aprreciate everything guys.
CLAP
-KP
Replies (52)
ttocs on 05/13/2005 14:48:30
we all have to come and go from time to time due to schedule er sanity. hopefully it was a good kind of busy that pulled you away.
Lots of options with a 300z, I think I got $50 for my graduation. I think the pwr antenna may be a negative trigger on that car.
swez on 05/13/2005 19:30:04
Nissan 300X for your graduation? Good for you dude!!!
Got a case of beer from my Dad. We shared it until it was all gone too. Not sure if he bought it for him or my twin brother and me... but it was cool, just the same.
Back then, (circa 1974) one could drink legally at 18. Was barely 18 at graduation... so beer was cool. Ahhh yes, Micholob was the brew of choice back then. hehe
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/14/2005 18:02:44
you were 18 at one time swez? no way. cant be. ttocs, why does the antenna present a problem? havent started trying to install anything yet, so it would be a nice heads up so to speak. Although its was nice to get the 300zx for my graduation, i still had to pay for half of it. lol. so it wasnt exactly just a gift. still put me out a nice penny.
swez on 05/14/2005 18:55:54
Yes, I WAS 18 many moons ago. It was a very good and carefree part of life too. The only concerns I had were taking care of a 1966 Chevy Caprice and going to work before college started. Oh to have so few concerns in life back then.
Mentor? Hope so... many have mentored me over the years. Now, it's my turn to give back some of that wonderful coaching and guardianship. Hope I don't blow it! hehe
Psychologist? Sure have studied that science enough over the past 15 years. Some of it may be "leaking out" a bit now. Human behavior has always facinated me and now, it seems to be part of everyday life.
Wish I had the PhD to go with it.... but none the less, it's a good thing to learn a bit about. Why we act and do what we do, is a facinating life long subject.
Will let ttocs handle the power antenna question.... he's a Pro Installer and knows his biz well.
Swez
ttocs on 05/15/2005 14:34:47
human behavior seems to annoy me more and more now...........
All(with VERY few exceptions,your car may be one) use a posative trigger pwr antenna system. All that means is when you turn on the radio, the pwr ant wire will have +12v on it to activate the antenna and raise it. Your car may be the opposite meaning it requires a ground to raise the ant. Not a big deal, can be fixed with a relay. To test this all you need to do is ground the factory pwr ant wire. If nothing happens then it is normal, if it goes up then you will need the relay.
swez on 05/15/2005 15:45:43
That answer implies a "loner" mentality. A person who chooses life on their own terms, as much as possible. "It's my way or the highway" is the personal motto. Lives in very concrete terms. Facts, figures and experience are the guideposts to this type of personality. Things are pretty cut and dried.
This individual prefers to work alone, get stuff done and not be bothered by too many interruptions. Has a low tolerance for drama that comes into the picture and generally refuses to deal with that sort of nonsense. A few sharp words are possible, then walks away... somewhat annoyed. But, finds other things to re-focus on to regain mental balance quickly.
A hard person to get to know, has many walls to block deep connections to others and prefers to live on ones own terms and agenda. Hard for this person to trust or tolerate others that are very different in processing life. This person has several casual friends, but very few (if any) deep relationships. This is usually by personal choice. "I like my own space very much" !!!
Know anyone like that? hehe
Swez
PS This is all in pure, clean fun. Curious if hits a few cords too? Comments always welcome. Come to the "comfy couch" and the Doctor will see you shortly.
www.drlaura.com and on talk radio M-F on the AM dial.
ttocs on 05/15/2005 18:52:12
you were spot on is some areas and off in others. I have noticed that I have become a bit of a loner the last few years. I am tired of clubs, and do not mind a descent bar where friends can talk, but I do not enjoy closing them down any more. I don't think it is anything more then getting old....
Now the relationship part is where you are wrong. I have more then a few very good friends(unfortunatly spread out across the US), with enough here in AZ to find something to do when I want.
You are correct about the my way er the highway part. After breaking off a long-term relationship well over a year ago, I realized that I am happy being me and going to enjoy and take advantage of that while I can. I have been dating casually since and met some nice girls that made me start to re-think, but in the end I am just not ready to share my life. My last G-friend really was big PITA and I am just happy now to enjoy the silence.... I am not apposed to the idea of a g-friend or marrage(shivers!) but that time will come and I am sure I will know when I am there. but until then I am gonna party like is 1999, wait.................
"This individual prefers to work alone, get stuff done and not be bothered by too many interruptions. Has a low tolerance for drama that comes into the picture and generally refuses to deal with that sort of nonsense. A few sharp words are possible, then walks away... somewhat annoyed. But, finds other things to re-focus on to regain mental balance quickly."-------------I have enjoyed working alone for some time now. I hated group projects in school as it seemed no body else ever wanted to do anything, and I would not trust my grade in the hands of anyone else, especially the people that I went to school with.... However it takes alot to get me worked up. I will keep quiet until I need to do differently, but at that time I am normally planning how I want to react and what would be best.
"A hard person to get to know, has many walls to block deep connections to others and prefers to live on ones own terms and agenda. Hard for this person to trust or tolerate others that are very different in processing life. This person has several casual friends, but very few (if any) deep relationships. This is usually by personal choice. "I like my own space very much" !!! "-----------I really didn't agree with that paragraph at all. I think I am an easy person to understand as long as you do not over-evaluate me and take me at face value. I do not say yes and mean no, ect. My ex had a degree in psycology and always thought she knew what I said, even if what she thought was not what I said..... make sence? I trust people until I have a reason not to which has caused trouble more then once.
Tinker18 on 05/15/2005 22:41:09
oh good lord, what did i start lol
Victor on 05/16/2005 01:25:40
ok..here's something to cool them off.. hehehehe
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed,
"Dad"
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with
all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's
not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be
very happy.
Even though you won't care for her as she is so much older than I, she
already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and
that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine
and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to
know your grandchildren.
Your loving son,
John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
my report card that's in the center drawer of my desk. I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Victor...
Tinker18 on 05/16/2005 08:32:35
that is hilarious. Wish i would have thought of it when i was younger. probably would have helped
swez on 05/16/2005 10:18:48
That's a great joke! Some of my report cards were less then stellar at one point in school. Mostly because things were not going too well at home then. Never thought of that one though. I just had to be able to outrun the DOD (Dear Ol Dad) and stay out of his way for a few days afterwards.
Ttocs, that little essay was actually a blend of people that came to mind. If any seemed to ring a cord with you personally, it was pure chance. Some of those comments reflect a lot of my own personality traits as well. See, I have become somewhat of a "loner" the past few years. (by neccessity, not choice)
Many very challenging events have hit one after the other and I now find solitude to be good company. Am finding it hard to trust people too much in personal matters. Why? Because they have not been through some of the "deep weeds" that I have seen the past 10 years. Many have lots of "helpful advice", but if they have never been there, are way off base. It may work for them... but it's not my cup of tea. That's what I meant by "putting up walls" to keep intruders at bay.
Words from others are often cheap and hollow... rolling up ones sleeves and grabbing a shovel.... means so much more. As one man digs beside his brethren, they find common ground. The hard part is... finding some other guys that are willing to grab the shovel and get a little messy in the process.
Ol Swez has often been the guy that sees the need, picks up the shovel and says... "OK, let's dig"! (together) Unfortunately, this often seems to be a one-way street. When I need a friend to grab the shovel... there are few (if any) to be found. This teaches one self-reliance and that one cannot usually depend too much on others. They are too wrapped up in their own lives and do not see the need to pitch in on someone elses behalf.
In short, we cannot judge other men. However, we can "inspect the fruit" and deal accordingly with what we observe. Anyway, this is more a personal exersize in "introspection". Not directed toward any specific person(s). Just a cathartic way to purge some of my own demons and dealing with the disillussionments am coping with now.
Take it for what it's worth... perhaps not much huh? LOL
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/16/2005 16:34:33
swez.....thats deep man.. a little too deep for me. ill just stick with my old mans motto. "if a dog is trying to bite you, you dont have to out run it, you just have to outrun the people your with"
-has always worked for me in the past. althjough, as i have grown older, i have changed what i once thought it meant. I used to think it meant, think about your own well being, now i think what he meant was that, you can only concern yourself with someone elses trouble so much, before you you have to start thinking of how to get yourself out of it.
ttocs on 05/16/2005 17:32:43
" Not directed toward any specific person(s). Just a cathartic way to purge some of my own demons and dealing with the disillussionments am coping with now."---I was with ya up till this, and I think this was the important conclusion and now i don't know what to think.....
Tinker18 on 05/16/2005 17:46:28
im still trying to decide which one of you is more confused.
swez on 05/17/2005 01:07:05
This topic is taking on a life of its own I see. Well, good nuff. I guess what I am trying to do, is sort out what life really means when we boil it all down to basics. (That's the cathartic stuff) Morphing from what was, to what happened to what to do next?
The dog biting comment was perfect.... beat feet and let the slow guy get the bite.... hehe, but knowing me, I would probably stand up to the dog to protect others. Have man-handle a few vicious dogs in my day and it really not hard, once you take the teeth and jaws out of the equation. Control the dogs' head, and the dog is very vulnerable. I wish this one was that simple.
Disillusionment: When life is going along just snappy and things seems to fall right into place. Then, one day we wake up and realize that we have fallen (or been pushed) into a deep dark hole with seemingly no way out.
Life events like the death of a spouse, parent, child or other loved one, divorce, loosing a job, losing your home, your kids, all accumulated wealth.... are all big wakeup calls. Unfortunately, I have experience all of these in a very short period of time. Am I whining? (perhaps a bit) But all those losses leave deep scars in a person. Those are my demons. Am dealing with them as I can, but as we get older, life get a whole lot harder to rebound from such major setbacks.
Does that clear things up a bit more now?
Swez
PS It has been said... " If it didn't kill ya, it will make you stronger and wiser". Whoever said that was either very wise or a plain old fool. Not sure which way to make that call. Probably a fool?
Victor on 05/17/2005 01:17:37
Swez... Whats wrong?? seems you are feeling too down and lonely these days.. May be we can talk.
"Dont loose it when you need it the most"...
Patience, Faith and stability of mind.
Ol'man cheer up.
Victor..
swez on 05/17/2005 13:12:58
Yes, am very down from all the things mentioned above. This is hard stuff to deal with and if one has not experience such things, they just don't "get it".
"Cheer up, things will get better or .... it's not that bad" are all very simple comments that just make matters worse. It shows extreme ignorance on that parties mindset and I'd rather not listen to that. It does not help. Again, words are cheap... picking up the shovel and digging along side the struggling one is always "good medicine".
In short, need some relief from all the grief and blocked goals I have faced in the past few years. For someone who has been there and has made it back to a brighter tomorrow, that advice... I can use.
Part of the problem here, is there are so few people who know how to counsel and help mend shattered lives. I have helped many others in the past as I have been there before and knew what to do and how to help them. Right now, I am at a loss as to how to process all this stuff, set some new goals and get on with life.
I desire to choose betterness over bitterness... but at the moment, blocked goals, frequent setbacks and scattered plans, seem to be all to present. Am beginning to gain momentum and a lot more patience as a result of all these challenges. However, the process is still a very difficult one to say the least.
Swez
PS Keep up the dialog... your opinions matter and show caring concerns. Now, I know a little bit about what the Tsunami victims have to face.
Romans 8:28 says: "All things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purposes." OK Lord, I know your word and am calling you out to fulfill this promise. When YOU do answer, everybody will see that faith is real. Just don't let me wait much longer... is all I ask.
Tinker18 on 05/17/2005 15:59:41
" a wise man must first acknowledge the fact that he is a fool, before once can call him wise"
although i may not have gone through as many hardships as you have swez, i have lost a parent, so to speak. as you already know, i hear from my father once every year, usually not even on my b-day, so i can understand some of the "loss" part. granted, words are cheap, but i think the real cure to everyones problems lie within their own mind, you just kind of have to work everything out and accept it. my father doesnt love me, doesnt want me, or even care to be around, and that used to cause a lot of turmoil in my life, but as i have grown older and maturity has set in so much that, i accept that now, and realize, there isnt much i can do about it. But the key point here, is that, someone saying everything is going to be allright, doesnt mean jack crap on a totem pole, the only way a problem gets fixed if you take the initiative to start thhe solution.
a favorite saying of mine.
-"if you don't climb the mountain, you wont ever see the beautiful view"
-KP
p.s. too many people try to see the "view" without taking the first steps up the mountain.
swez on 05/17/2005 18:06:38
Well said Tinker... that was an inspired thoughtI
I hate depression as it steals a man's drive, meaning to life and thier will to climb the mountain again. Many great men (I am not one of them) suffered with serious bouts of depression. Abe Lincoln, King David (David & Goliath) Meatloaf, (the rocker) Theo Roosevelt and many other greats in their time. Those who feel deeply about others, also feel thier pain in deep ways too. But like most things, time passes and things do improve.
The loss of your Dad.... (divorce I take it) may seem like he does not care at the moment. Maybe he does, perhaps he doesn't. I would bet my last dollar that deep down inside, he cares a lot but laddened with guilt and frustration on how to make up for all those lost years.
One day, you both may have a chance to sit and talk... face to face. You will both have the opportunity to ask many questions and get many answers that are not so clear right now. He knows very little about you now, and you probably know even less about him. Never the less, you two are blood, kin and share the same DNA.
I would like to invite you to a voice chat sometime on Skype. It's a free internet chat program with excellent audio quality. Can share files, links pictures and music on that program. All you need is a mike for chatting and the program. My user name on Skype is: "swezdp"
www.skype.com
There, one can talk real time, all over the world from the privacy of your computer and it's all free. Several CK guys have the program as well and we chat when we can. What seems to work best, are headphones with a boom mike. But a desktop mike and audio speakers will do the job as well. Come say hello and we can chat in private if you wish.
Swez
PS Thanks for your kind words of encouragement.... they are much appreciated at the moment. Yes, old fools like me can learn from young bucks like you. (and visa-versa)
Tinker18 on 05/17/2005 18:52:12
god knows youve taught me enough. glad to return the favor alothough i disagree with this statement ===========================================The loss of your Dad.... (divorce I take it) may seem like he does not care at the moment. Maybe he does, perhaps he doesn't. I would bet my last dollar that deep down inside, he cares a lot but laddened with guilt and frustration on how to make up for all those lost years.
===========================================
granted, my parents got divorced, but i was 2 years old. I dont remember, nor care to. My dad is the kind of guy who likes to promise things but always fails to follow through. the only thing he has ever been laden with is work, never guilt or remorse, or a simple "im sorry for not being around son". the only comment like that i have received was actually an insult to me. he said "i cant do anything about not having enough time for you, i got alot of work to do ill call you later". so a 7 year old boy, sits there, by the phone for 6 days in and out waiting for his fathers phone call that wouldn't come for 6 more months. If he does feel guilty, i dont care anymore. I spent 16 years of my life trying to be his son, and he didnt want to be my father. so if he wants to be my father later, he can wait 16 years. may seem kind of harsh, but lifes tough, you deal with it..
-KP
p.s. as you can see. lol, your demons dont ever completely go away, but time tends to fade them into the back blissful area of your mind.====you can have one of two different attitudes towards any situation. (ive figured this out young). only two, no more==== option 1.==you say to hell with everything, and choose not to let it bother you.(the one i chose).===option 2.==you try to fix the problem then if it doesnt work....you resort to option 1....lol
swez on 05/18/2005 09:20:20
Get your point... make perfect sense too. Your Dad, chose his work pursuits over family needs for his guidance and time. That is indeed a difficult thing to get through. All suffered from one persons' poor choices. If I were to hazzard a guess, he got more (personal satisfaction) out of being a workaholic, than being a family man. That is a sad reality and you seem to have come to grips with it at an early age.
After talking with you a bit on Skype last night, I got the sense you have a lot on the ball and are ready to make your mark in the world soon. Studies may get very challenging at times, but with personal determination to see it through, it will deliver success as you go along that path. When I was your age, I did not have a clear sense of direction in life. (late bloomer?) It took a few extra years to sort that all out.... but then, things came together fast, once I found my niche.
Think I figured out something overnight that has been eating at me for months. Some call it "burn out". That is... when a person is constantly in a situation that calls them to operate outside their specific gifts and talents. They become frustrated, grumpy and some get very depressed. It's like trying to use a soup spoon to dig a trench. The wrong tool for the job and eventually, the tool (spoon) fatigues and eventually breaks. An Ahhh-Hah moment here! That's what's been eating away at me.
Have noted when we "do more of" what we like to do and love doing it, we gain lots of satisfaction and great results. However, if we are constantly doing things that we a re now well suited for... it drains our energy, saps our motivations and leads to a deep sense of unhappiness. Viola! That's the situation in a nutshell. Now, what to do next?
1. Step back from the forest and get a better view of the trees
2. Identify strengths and motivators
3. Seek out opportunities to use those strengths
4. Minimize exposure to activities that drain us, rather then fill our tanks
5. Go for it with all the gusto we have in us
Wow! It's like a big light just went on and things not seen before, are now very clear. Have been operating out of my strengths ("the zone") for so long, it has depleated my energy and clarity. Now, it time to get to work on things that deeply satisfy. The first step to getting back on track is to identify the issue(s). Then, make needed adjustments to get back in the zone!
My prayers have been answered... a "spoon" is not a trench digging tool. Stop using that spoon for this job and hire a contractor to dig the trench with the proper tools. (or rent the right tools and get it done right)
The lights are on and somebody is home again! HAPPY
Swez
PS Enjoyed our Skype chat very much. Using a speaker as a microphone will work for now... but it's low sensitivity to full range voice reproduction is poor as compared to a true mike. Don't mind my Midwestern accent. I can't really alter it much, unless I moved to Texas for a while... hehe It could be worse.... could be from New York or Baston ya know!
Tinker18 on 05/18/2005 13:37:35
yeah, skype was cool, ill get around to getting a mike sooner or later. i still and always believe that if a person holds a problem within himself, he also holds the solution..the only difference is the path to the solution is a little more obscure in the mind, than the path to frustration
swez on 05/18/2005 18:26:05
Absolutely! But it does not hurt to "brainstorm" with others when solutions are hard to uncover. More brain power in the mix that way.
Did you know... the human brain does its most powerful problem solving as we sleep? All other non-essential higher brain functions go on idle mode and the lower brain functions maintain breathing, heart beat and minimal motor movements. There are several times a night, when the brain goes into warp drive to scan for possible solutions to various dilemas we cannot resolve during waking hours. Neat concept huh?
It's sorta like a computers' hard drive. When we close all running programs and let the processor work on very limited programs, it is most efficient and faster as well. All data points can be scanned rapidly in this mode.
Swez
PS See ya on Skype again soon?
Tinker18 on 05/18/2005 19:10:55
I also believe that certain areas of the bran such as some of the sub concious brains can be mastered and changed by the concious brain. it is just a matter of asserting the problem and going about a solution. As with anything else, your brain can operate on propaganda. A very useful tool. If you say or hear something enough, you will eventually start to believe it, which the belief part is in your sub concious mind, the concious mind merely determines how to interpret that belief. So, if you have a low self esteem, the easiest way to overcome it, is to tell yourself all the time, im better than that, etc. It doesnt offer a quick fix, but over time, you will have a higher self esteem. (im speaking from experience). the same goes with insecurities with women, or any thing else of the nature. She wants to go out with her friends? tell yourself she wont cheat, and when your brain goes to the "other girl" you trusted that did, shrug it off and tell yourself shes not that girl. <---current issue im having.
so i do believe that the conscious mind controls the subconscious mind unconsciously. paradoxal? i dont think so, if thought about abstractly. what do ya think?.
swez on 05/18/2005 19:50:28
To a good degree, we do set the programming models we operate under as we get older. However, when we are young and very impressionalble, negative inputs from friends, parents and ourselves, become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Same thing with positive inputs too.
If our parents tell us we are bright, well mannered and going to grow up and do well in life, we tend to live up to that program. However, if we are raised with constant negatives like... "You are worthless, stupid, shiftless, lazy and will never amount to much", many will live up to that script.
Misconceptions out of ignorance: Have you ever heard someone tell you the moon is made of swiss cheeze? Most of us born before the space program to the moon were fed that "crap" all the time. But, in 1968, that all changed when we put a few guys on the moon. It was not made of cheeze! It's made of rocks, space dust and meteor debris. Scientists have studied the moon rocks that were brought back and have identified many common and unique characteristics of moon rocks VS Earth rocks.
We are also products of our experience. Say we dated a girl in HS and we then went to college in different areas. She/he gets bored or restless and wants to "play around" when nobody is looking. Well, it happened to me and it really shook my beliefs about 1 guy, 1 gal. It really hurt when she finally got caught and fessed up. What could I do? Not one darn thing.... just grieved the loss, learned a few lessons and choose to press on and trust the next gal I met later. However, I was much more selective about whom I dated after that. For the most part, it worked out pretty well.
In short, we have to trust ourselves and the people we associate with. It they prove to be less than trustworthy... cut it off and move on. Fighing about it, is not worth the aggrevation. If a couple is not reading off the same blueprints and have similar likes/dislikes and goals in life, better to find out ASAP and if it looks like a bad fit... move on.
FYI: We cannot change others... but we can change our attitudes and beliefs about many things. The trick is to blend our strengths together and figure out the weakness we and our partner may have. The more in common we have together, the better chances of finding a great fit.
Have you ever heard the old saw... Opposites Attract? In the beginning stages of a relationship, this is often a power drawing card. However, as the relationship matures, those differences can become sticking points later. Then, "Opposites attack" !!! This is a well researched and documented phenom. Check it out for yourself and see if that fits a personal experience pattern or proclivity to do the same things over again.
Swez
PS Define Insanity: "If we do the same things all the time, and yet expect different results.... that's insanity!!! Drop a 16 lb., bowling ball on our foot 10 times... what do you think the results will be? PAIN !!!
Nuff said huh? LOL
Tinker18 on 05/18/2005 20:22:50
id like to hear more info on the "differences attract" thing swez. I have had that problem many a time in my life. Im drawn to the girls, who are very independent, who trust completely and are unprotective, while i myself, am semi independent, am weary about trust, and am somewhat protective to a degree. although it seems like whenever i have tried dating a girl who is quote un quote "like me", i seem to feel trapped. maturity sets in at some point with me and tells me i will eventually find another girl, if something goes a wry with this one, but at the same time, the 10 year old notion of "i dont want anyone else, nor can i have any one else" is still inset in the mind. As i have grown older, the mind has been a very frequent subject of my thoughts, as everything about people and their actions confuse me, i try not to understand the person or why they acted that way. I try to understand the root of the problem and see where it came from. from that strong base point, you can understand any motives or actions, far louder than words. a little too deep for an 18 year old? everyone seems to tell me i have a mind like a 30 year old, with a kids aura still embedded in me. Even my g/f says im in too much of a hurry to "grow up"(i hate those words, they are insulting to me)
whats your thoughts old timer?
ttocs on 05/18/2005 21:15:56
wow, been away a for a couple of days and what did I miss? my stomach has started to act up again leaving me to wonder how long till I need another stay at the hospital to be fed through a tube. They still have not figured it out and call it irritable bowel syndrom.... My bowels are not happy then.
ya got your health right swez?
Tinker18 on 05/18/2005 21:22:51
wow....talk about a change in subject there scott. IBS? my ex used to have that...but the b stood for a different word....lol
swez on 05/18/2005 21:47:59
Yeah ttocs, am slowly getting back on track. My Mom has been in the hospital for 10 days. My Dad is worrying himself to illness and soon, I will have two elders to care for in depth. That's what has been wearing me down.
Am not well suited to be a care giver yet feel the need to set my agendas aside for a time, to get them up to speed again. That's seems to be at the root of all this "stuff" at the moment. It's like a hunting dog that has to learn to behave like a humming bird for a while. Ya know, flit here, flit there and play gummby. Guess that is not my forte?
Stomach is acting up again eh? Get on it so you don't get worse. Man, if it's not one thing, it's another. Join the club!
Take care of yourself ol boy,
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/19/2005 09:39:36
sorry to hear about your mom swez, never a good thing. i dont think i could play the role of care giver either. not cut out for it that well. of course im still young so i dont know about it completely yet, but i have very little patience with most stuff.
swez on 05/19/2005 11:05:12
Ya thanks.... Mom is getting stronger each day and may come home this weekend. She is pretty weak from all the stuff she has been through, but her spirits are up and her mind is getting sharper with each passing day.
Pops on the other hand, is falling apart at the seams now. He is worried to death that he might loose her. His previous wife died from what started out as a minor issue, but was ignored to the point that no medical treatments could undue the damage. He is having DeJevu "all over again" with this episode. Can't say I blame him for being very concerned as he has been down this path 5 years ago with disaterous results. But worry is not healthy and just steals our energy. Very hard on the body and mind. I am taking a more pragmatic approach here... stay on top of the process, talk to the Doctors and staff and get frequent updates on Mom's definite progress.
As for being a primary care giver for 2 elderly adults... it's not my stong suit either. Yes, I know what to do and can do it for short periods of time, but it's like a muscle, we have to work it out to make it stronger and able to perform harder tasks.
Patience? What's that? It too is like a muscle. The more we use it, the better it will perform under pressure. A few years ago, my patience meter was pretty low. (maybe a 2) After many difficult situations and practicing patience, now closer to an 8. Did I enjoy that process of building patience? ABSOLUTELY NOT !!! But, it has served me well to go through that stuff.
It's like being a Parent.... does not come easy or naturally to some. They have to work very hard at it. Why? Because most are naturally self-centered and don't appreciate all the extra demands placed on them as a full time care giver. Women are raised to bring on the babies and raise them. Men are raised to be the "bread winner" and take care of business. That was the typical role models in the 50's & 60's.
Today, there is a shift taking place. Wives want to have jobs and like making money too. It almost takes 2 incomes to stay on top of all the financial needs of the family. (or so it seems) But, this is a lie! Many couples can work outside the home and build a nice "nest egg" for later. That's not a bad idea!
But...when the children start popping up, it is well known that Mother's are best suited to feed and care for an infant. If men were designed for that job, we'd have breasts to produce milk too. (But we don't) Our "job" (function) is provide for our growing families and protect them as well. We are called to be leaders, protectors and providers of the home.
Unfortunately, many young couple are brought up with lots of toys, gadgets and gizzmos. They think Nintendo, Game Boys, a new car at graduation and many other things are "needs". They want the same lifestyles as their parents gave them. But do not want to wait the 25 years it took their parents to get to that level. Bull hocky!!!
Needs are: Food, shelter, clothing, transportation of some kind and a nurturing Mother and a strong Father role model. Kids need our time and attention. They want to be involved with their parents and learn to do things as a group. However, if Mom & Dad both work and the kid comes home to an empty house and has to fend for themselves for several hours, problems soon develop unless the child was raised to be very responsible and able to manage a few hours at home w/o supervision.
Why do you think kids are so angry, violent and isolated these days? A lack of parental involvement! Both parents come home from work, (dog tired) needing time to decompress from a hard day at work right? Little Johnny or Janny want their attention too. The typical response is:
"GO AWAY KID... YA BOTHER ME" ! Then, they reach into their wallets, hand the kid some money and say, go buy a toy or go to the video arcade and get lost for a few hours.... just LEAVE ME ALONE !!!
In my days, it was..."here's a dollar son. Go buy some ice cream or a bottle of pop" (soda.. CokeaCola etc.) So, we'd happily jump on our bikes, hop down to the party store and get what we liked. When the street lights came on, it was time to check in and bedtime was 9:00 on school nights... 11:00 on the weekends, if we were on the block playing tag, hide and go seek etc.
See the trend here? Little adult supervison or involvement with our kids, sends a message they are not wanted. So, they turn to other tormented kids in the same game and they try to sort out life the best they can together. Unfortunately, kids are just that... kids. They lack reasoning, experience and the ability to make wise choices. Sooner or later, they tune out with gangs, drugs, alcohol, sex and who knows what else. These kids are headed for trouble. They lack direction, have poor self-esteem and little self-discipline.
Fortunately, some kids do get good family support and find healthy ways to manage their time. They do their homework on time, play sports or get into some kind of hobby that teaches skills, teamwork, self-suffciency and along with that, comes a good self-esteem. These kids do well and become early leaders and responsible adults.
Whew... what was that all about? Topic for the day I guess???
Anyway, enough for now. Tink, will try to catch you on Skype later and we can talk about that "opposites that attract, then attack" thingy.
Swez
PS Yes, this is now "way off topic" and growing. Wonder why? Anyway, if any wish to read this topic, feel free to do so and chime in. It's an open forum. However, to those who may find this topic twist to be "not their cup of tea", no problem. Just don't read it. It's almost a practice session for future books I hope to write some day. If you have not gathered it by now, find the study of psychology and human behavior, totally facinating. So much to learn... so little time. SMILE
Tinker18 on 05/19/2005 17:33:26
yes, this umm has definitley taken on a life of its own..lol, although i think it would be somewhat funny to see a regular post topic with over 100 responses. lol. I have to agree with you, kids now days are a little too spoiled and neglected, which combined together can have very bad results. I used to have the be in by the time the street lights come on rule when i was younger swez. daylight savings pissed me off alot during those years. lol. I personally have been brought up to respect my elders and authoratative figures, and am grateful for how fortunate ive been in my life. I usually have to work for anything i want, as i will not allow something to be "given" to me. I do not like things that are handed to people in life that are unearned.
"in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall make your paths straight"
swez on 05/19/2005 19:07:28
Exactly! Your end quote is most appropriate and right on target. I would add this as well:
Train up a child in the way he/she should go, and as they grow older, they will not depart from it.
Gifts are nice, especially when they are well earned. But there is no deeper personal satisfaction I know, then to work hard on something to reach a goal we set for ourselves. That treat at the end, makes it all worthwhile.
However, if we just hand things out left in right to get kids out of our hair, what have we taught them? "If I bug you long enough, you will cave in and give me what I want" ! Well, try that in college or on our first job or two. What will happen under that mode of operation? You got it... a major smack down pending. Welcome to the real world of "Dog Eat Dog".
Swez
PS Notice the number of views on this post is now over 200? Not sure I have ever seen a single post with that many reads in a long time. Funny huh? GRIN
Tinker18 on 05/19/2005 21:04:05
yeah, kind of neat although our views on this post may account for 30-60 of them more than likely. I know a few "spoiled brats" so to speak, and they tend to get on my nerves. Although i dont let it bother me too bad simply because i know that one day they will hit a brick wall that doesnt move for them "at will" and i will get a major kick out of it. I cannot wait till 20 or 30 years go by and i get to go back to my high school reunion and simply laugh at all the spoiled girls whose daddy gave them everything and now they are going through divorce with no college degree and 3 kids. its the little things in life that make life so worthwhile. Major things, are simply a bonus in my eyes. The details, are all that count.
another favorite orwellian quote of mine
"if you keep the small rules, you can usually break the big ones"
P.S. in my view, this also applies not only to a fictional 1984 but also to real life. pay great attention to detail, and most will overlook the general picture.
-KP
swez on 05/20/2005 09:19:00
Too funny... spoiled little Daddy's princess syndrome is so true. What a setup for the poor sucker that hooks up with one of them and doesn't realize it til it's too late.
Was browsing a singles website (Tickle I think) and low and behold, my previous g/f had her pic and blurbs on the first page. Interesting too, how she used a pic that was >10 ago and she looks very little like that now. Her self description was pretty accurate and so were her preferences. Hope it works out for her. She was a good companion, but we had very different goals. (slightly-somewhat spoiled, but honest and hard working)
On another page, there was a woman (late 30's) who said she was very fit. She had a laundry list of mate preferences. Tall, physically fit, "thick?", no excess facial hair.... and makes huge money. She also said she loves to shop. Hummmm, looks like she's into physical attractions, control freek and loves to spend others money. Her picture showed a pretty woman in good physical shape... but I would not touch one like that with a 20 foot pole. In short, she is shallow, looking for Mr. Moneybags and wants to control everything. That was an eye opener... sad and very scary to me... LOL
Big Picture VS the Details: Both are important and we will encounter both types a lot in life. There are also people that have a good blend of both.
Big picture people tend to become leaders and head large corporations or high political positions. They are great at developing a "vision" for where they want to go in life and often very articulate and charismatic, but depend on detail minded people to help them get there. These B/P folks are usually very goal oriented, have strong personalities and tend to make snap decisions based on experience and gut reactions. You either love em or hate em, depending on your own style. They are needed, but they also need a strong support team to keep them on track and in touch with the process of getting to a goal.
Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, JFK and FDR were all B/P Presidents.
The detail folks are great at looking at all the componets needed to get from points A to Z. However, they often lack charisma and a presents to command. This is the much needed support team behind successful leaders. They gather facts, figures, opinions and details and make recommendations to the B/P leaders. They like being in the background, supporting the leader... but don't want too much "out front" exposure. They work best from behind the scenes. Some notables here were: D. Eisenhower, R. Nixon, LBJ, J. Carter and G. Ford.
The "blended" personality can do both functions to a degree. They are solid, well rounded and grounded people as well. They do not make the greatest up front leaders as they also have to do their own research and digging for details. These folks make great middle managers and adjuncts to B/P leaders. The blended personality can be bold when needed, but is also comfortable working alone, behind the scenes as well. Very studious, concenses oriented and then they make their pitch.
G.W Bush, G.H. Bush, A. Lincoln, G. Washington were/are all "blended" personality types. Very effective leaders in their own right. But, studied the tasks and details before making huge decisions.
OK, which personality type are we? Ol Swez is more a "blended" personality type.
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/20/2005 12:28:32
i would say i fall more into the big picture personality type as i am somewhat charismatic and fairly articulate, although my determination makes me pay even greater attention to detail than most. "if your going to do something...you might as well do it right or not at all" ....
-i think this quote explains the way i view the world.
"if jackasses could fly...this place would be an airport"
my biggest pet peeve is ignorant people. Not stupid people....ignorant people. there is a difference. Stupid is something you are born with or describes an action by which you are doing. ignorance on the other hand is simply a voluntary choice not to learn what you can to move yourself up in life. the world is full of ignorant people, so in short, i get annoyed quite often.
-top ten things that bother me...(in order of importance)
1.-ignorance
2.-ungratefulness
3.-rudeness
4.-smart alikes
5.-politicians
6.-liars
7.-repitition
8.-naievety
9.-immaturity
10.-unloyal
swez on 05/20/2005 13:28:37
Guess we have similar views on pet peeves too.
About Stupidity vs Ignorance.... Have a slight variation on that one.
Ignorance: They don't know what we do know... but when it is brought to their attention, they gain insight and apply the new found knowledge as best they can. Ignorant people are generally teachable.
Stupidity: They often know the right things to do, but refuse to do them. Or, they try to do it halfway and create more of a mess then what was originally there. Tend to make the same mistakes over and over again, but rarely learn from the events and outcomes.
Insanity: Always do the same things, but expect better results as they tried harder this time. The results are usually less than desirable and make others crazy in the process.
Based on your earlier post, seems like the TYPE A personality is your gift. Drive to suceed, makes rapid decissions on most matters, "damn the torpedos... full speed ahead" !!!
A joke... The Captain of a large battleship was out on manuvers and came into a foggy stretch as night approached. The lookout sent a message to the Captain... "Sir, we have lights ahead, 2,000 meters off the bow. They are right in our path."
Captain to radioman: "Tell that vessle to change course, 15 degree to Starboard immediately" !
Response: " Ahoy vessle, adjust your course 15 degrees Port".
Captain: "I am Captain H. P. Grissom, I am the Captain. Change your course 15 degrees Starboard immediately."
Response: "This is seaman second class Huntly Sir. Change your immediately by 15 degrees to Port".
Captain: (ready to explode) " Look you a$$, I am the Captain of the USS Portsmouth. This ship is prepared to ram you if you do not change course" !!!
Response: "Sir, this is a lighthouse station. If you do not change course ASAP, you will run-a-ground and damage your ship."
Who do you think blinked on this contest? LOL The Captain is a definite Type A personality. (pretty full of himself huh) The lighthouse operator is a Type B personality. (a humble yet direct support staff) Was this an example of ignorance, stupidity or insanity?
Funny how many blind spots we can have. That's why we need others to cover our backsides.
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/21/2005 11:01:44
I think that was an example of all three. ignorance, stupidity, and insanity combined, which when put together, i think can be a dangerous combination. but like they always say, there is a fine line between genius and insanity....still trying to find that line. obviously havent succeded yet. albert einstein for instance...was he a genius or was he inteligently insane? i think they coincide with one another, i dont think there is a difference. I think to be a genius, you have to be a little bit insane. i would say the type A personality listed above definitly cannot survive without the type B personality, as they are relied upon to keep the insanity part "in check" so to speak. but as with all things in life, you usually are always dependent on something else, maybe not always a person, but maybe and object, and ideal, a feeling, or anything of any nature.
-KP
swez on 05/21/2005 17:53:55
Speaking of insanity VS genius.... did you know when asked what his home address was, Albert Einstein replied: I don't recall off hand. In fact, in school I was often bad at memorization and numbers. Beside, why waste mental energy on such small matters? I can look it up in the phone book if needed. But I do know this... E=MCsq'd.
I'd say that was a pretty good come back huh?
Since you will be studying to become a pilot someday soon, consider a few side courses in pshycology. Or at least read a few book on that subject. Good insights on how we all act the way we do and why the pre-programmed responses are so predicable. This is a very cool field of study too. We have a long way to go on understanding human behavior. But the basics are a pretty good start.
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/21/2005 18:36:29
yeah, actually i did know that. i think i am going to take a couple philosophy courses too, seems like it could be quite interesting. Human behavior astounds and amazes me, so i like to try to understand it. Besides, if i am going to be a pilot, i need to know something better to tell them when the planes crashing...other than stick your head between your legs and kiss your ,,, goodbye
swez on 05/22/2005 10:05:54
Philosophy is OK to study as well. There are so many choices out there in many different disciplines. Same with psychology topics.
The best source of philosopy I have ever read, comes right out of the Bible. Specifically, the books called Ecclesiastes and Proverbs. Most of these topics were written by King Solomon in his older years. King Solomon was the richest and wisest man who ever lived. These books preserve his experiences and pearls of wisdom he collected over a long life span. They are located in the middle of the Old Testament.
Also, study yourself. Who am I?, What style of personality do I have? What are our strengths & weaknesses? When you have that pretty well down pat, look at the other main personality types as well. This will help illuminate how others around us operate and note their strengths and weaknesses too.
FYI: Have been in Technical Sales most of my adult life. It was very helpful for me to understand my own personal style and then the styles of my clients, friends, family and work associates. Once I got the hang of it, was a lot easier to relate to them on their terms and point of reference.
Here's a good starting point:
http://www.outofservice.com/bigfive
Another very good test is the Meyers-Briggs full personality profile. The last one I can think of is called MMPI (Minnisota Multi-phasic Personality Inventory) . This last one is long and very indepth. Usually have to pay for that one as it is scored and evaluated by a psycologist.
Have fun,
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/22/2005 11:24:20
heres my results:
Openness to Experience/Intellect--80%
High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative.
You enjoy having novel experiences and seeing things in new ways. (Your percentile
===========================================
Conscientiousness-74%
High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent.
You are well-organized, and are reliable.
===========================================
Extraversion-59%
High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet.
You are neither particularly social or reserved.
===========================================
Agreeableness-50%
High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous.
You are neither extremely forgiving nor irritable.
===========================================
Neuroticism-32%
High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy.
You are generally relaxed.
===========================================
-i liked this test, and the sad thing is, is that it is pretty much right on target.
swez on 05/22/2005 11:58:45
O = 65%
C = 74%
E = 53%
A = 79%
N = 18%
Looks like we are very similar in nature, based on this test. However, there is a broad span in our ages. (30 years) As we get older, we tend to mellow and take fewer risks. In my younger days, I would have scored considerably different. (say early 20's)
The blooming process did not hit me until about 24-28 years old. That's about the time life really began to change for me. (Ie: Went back to school, started a career path... not just a J.O.B. [Just Over Broke] and got married at 33).
In short, I was a late bloomer as it took me a few more years out of the nest, to undo the "angry young man" syndrome from my childhood. Yep, I was one pi$$ed off rebel in my earlier days. But time, knowledge, overcoming new challenges and moving on, changed most of that as I got older. My "theme song" in those days was "THE GRAND ILLUSION" by Styx.
"Why must you be such an angry young man? You're future looks quiet bright to me."
Now, (30 years later) I can see things from a new perspective. Life is what we choose to make of it. Everyday is a choice. What choices we make today, net what we will get later. (Good, bad or indifferent)
Swez Smile
Tinker18 on 05/22/2005 12:44:53
"what we do in our past, controls what is happening in the present, what happens in the present, controls our future, so therefore, our past controls our future."
swez on 05/22/2005 18:25:34
That would be 100% true if we choose not to grow and change. Or, our present situations, caused by past choices can be modified, to create a new future.
Fortunately, we have the ability to reason and process events. Animals do not so much. They (animals) can learn and adapt based on events and training, but only humans have reasoning power. We don't simply respond to a given stimuli. We can learn, think, plan, organize thoughts and change our behaviors. Animals can modify their behaviors... but they don't have true powers of reasoning.
Mistakes and setbacks can become our allies. It's part of the learning process. If we ever meet someone who has never made a mistake in their lives....
1. They are liars
2. They are deceived
3. They are trying to deceive others
4. They have never done anything of any real importance in their lives
It took Thomas A. Edison more than 10,000 tries to perfect the now ubiquitous light bulb.
Swez
gearhead on 05/22/2005 19:34:54
O- 84
C- 69
E- 37
A- 44
N- 11
JMO, but some of the key words used are non-specific/defined (often, sometimes, almost, a lot, etc.) and some of the questions on that test are skewed. "Can be cold and aloof", "Can be somewhat careless", "Can be moody", Can be tense". Anybody CAN be any of those things. The question is, are they? I can be cold and aloof given the right circumstances. In general though, I'm not. So how should I answer that question? My answer is that I agree. I CAN be cold and aloof. I choose not to be 99% of the time. "Is sometimes rude to others"? I've never met anybody that wasn't rude to at least one person in their life. That qualifies as "sometimes" to me. Maybe I'm not intrepretting the questions properly, or I'm taking them too literally. Who knows?
Tinker18 on 05/22/2005 19:38:13
like they say on national treasure...."it took him 10,000 tries to make a light bulb, and when asked about it, he said i didnt fail, i found out 10,000 ways NOT to make a light bulb"
genius response?
I recently watched a show on the discovery channel that talked about "killer waves"....ever hear anything about it? kind of unique, has to do with quantum physics. basically, a wave is supposed to be linear, meaning that, the crest and trough are always the same, given the same amount of energy. Science has proved recently that for some reason there is what is now called, a non-linear wave. It saps energy from the waves nearest it, making their crest lower, and its own higher, with deeper troughs. So far, it has been deemed completely spontaneous as we have no evidence of any tide pattern, ocean current, or sun flares..lol...to blame the somewhat erie phenomenon on. i think back in 96' a deep ocean oil rig was annihilated by a 32 meter "killer wave"...you should look it up...its quite interesting.
-KP
swez on 05/23/2005 10:19:05
Killer waves and rouge waves have been noted on many large bodies of water for many years. Until recently, scientists could not measure them accurately or determine possible causes for them. They are common in seas, oceans and even the Great Lakes.
Many factors to consider here:
1. Wind speed/direction
2. Water depth
3. Water temperatures variations
4. Topology of the sea bed
5. Underwater currents and tidal flows
6. Fish farts?
7. Underwater fissures
So many variables to understand huh?
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/25/2005 08:44:16
fish farts? lol...im never gonna forget that. they said that they noticed that they were more common in the deep ocean areas, than any where else.
swez on 05/25/2005 09:04:29
Deep ocean areas? That can be attributed to "Whale Farts". Can you imagine how much gas a 40-60 foot whale can generate? Or maybe a large "pod" of dolphins?
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/25/2005 09:20:06
pod? definitly woldnt want to be behind the whale, ill tell you that much. if one of us can clear out a room...good night...i dont even wanna know. whale farts...lol
-did you see what i did for the guy with not enough info?...i thought it to be an original approach....lol.
swez on 05/25/2005 14:17:33
Yes, I did see your post and he followed up well.
Pod... yes, a school of dolphins are called "Pods". Large groups tend to school together for protection and herding bait fish efficiently. Not sure how many can be in a POD... but they do school for protection against sharks, Killer Whales and other predatious sea critters.
There are also many kinds of whales. Whales are mammals. The give live birth to their young and nurse them for up to 2 years. Dophins are also part of the whale family. Other notable mentions are Bottle-nosed Whales, Humpbacks, Baluga, Sperm Whales, Southern Wright Whales, Pilot Whales and last but not least, the Blue Whale. This is the largest of the species. They have been found to log in over 100 feet long. That's some serious tonage huh?
Two major groupings of whales too.
1. Whales with teeth like the Dolphin, Sperms and Killer Whales. Not sure if the Whale shark counts as a true whale or not.
2. "Baleen Whales" are strainer whales. They eat plankton and other small micro-organic critters of the deep.
Is that all you wanted to know about whales?
Swez
CLAP
-KP
Replies (52)
ttocs on 05/13/2005 14:48:30
we all have to come and go from time to time due to schedule er sanity. hopefully it was a good kind of busy that pulled you away.
Lots of options with a 300z, I think I got $50 for my graduation. I think the pwr antenna may be a negative trigger on that car.
swez on 05/13/2005 19:30:04
Nissan 300X for your graduation? Good for you dude!!!
Got a case of beer from my Dad. We shared it until it was all gone too. Not sure if he bought it for him or my twin brother and me... but it was cool, just the same.
Back then, (circa 1974) one could drink legally at 18. Was barely 18 at graduation... so beer was cool. Ahhh yes, Micholob was the brew of choice back then. hehe
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/14/2005 18:02:44
you were 18 at one time swez? no way. cant be. ttocs, why does the antenna present a problem? havent started trying to install anything yet, so it would be a nice heads up so to speak. Although its was nice to get the 300zx for my graduation, i still had to pay for half of it. lol. so it wasnt exactly just a gift. still put me out a nice penny.
swez on 05/14/2005 18:55:54
Yes, I WAS 18 many moons ago. It was a very good and carefree part of life too. The only concerns I had were taking care of a 1966 Chevy Caprice and going to work before college started. Oh to have so few concerns in life back then.
Mentor? Hope so... many have mentored me over the years. Now, it's my turn to give back some of that wonderful coaching and guardianship. Hope I don't blow it! hehe
Psychologist? Sure have studied that science enough over the past 15 years. Some of it may be "leaking out" a bit now. Human behavior has always facinated me and now, it seems to be part of everyday life.
Wish I had the PhD to go with it.... but none the less, it's a good thing to learn a bit about. Why we act and do what we do, is a facinating life long subject.
Will let ttocs handle the power antenna question.... he's a Pro Installer and knows his biz well.
Swez
ttocs on 05/15/2005 14:34:47
human behavior seems to annoy me more and more now...........
All(with VERY few exceptions,your car may be one) use a posative trigger pwr antenna system. All that means is when you turn on the radio, the pwr ant wire will have +12v on it to activate the antenna and raise it. Your car may be the opposite meaning it requires a ground to raise the ant. Not a big deal, can be fixed with a relay. To test this all you need to do is ground the factory pwr ant wire. If nothing happens then it is normal, if it goes up then you will need the relay.
swez on 05/15/2005 15:45:43
That answer implies a "loner" mentality. A person who chooses life on their own terms, as much as possible. "It's my way or the highway" is the personal motto. Lives in very concrete terms. Facts, figures and experience are the guideposts to this type of personality. Things are pretty cut and dried.
This individual prefers to work alone, get stuff done and not be bothered by too many interruptions. Has a low tolerance for drama that comes into the picture and generally refuses to deal with that sort of nonsense. A few sharp words are possible, then walks away... somewhat annoyed. But, finds other things to re-focus on to regain mental balance quickly.
A hard person to get to know, has many walls to block deep connections to others and prefers to live on ones own terms and agenda. Hard for this person to trust or tolerate others that are very different in processing life. This person has several casual friends, but very few (if any) deep relationships. This is usually by personal choice. "I like my own space very much" !!!
Know anyone like that? hehe
Swez
PS This is all in pure, clean fun. Curious if hits a few cords too? Comments always welcome. Come to the "comfy couch" and the Doctor will see you shortly.
www.drlaura.com and on talk radio M-F on the AM dial.
ttocs on 05/15/2005 18:52:12
you were spot on is some areas and off in others. I have noticed that I have become a bit of a loner the last few years. I am tired of clubs, and do not mind a descent bar where friends can talk, but I do not enjoy closing them down any more. I don't think it is anything more then getting old....
Now the relationship part is where you are wrong. I have more then a few very good friends(unfortunatly spread out across the US), with enough here in AZ to find something to do when I want.
You are correct about the my way er the highway part. After breaking off a long-term relationship well over a year ago, I realized that I am happy being me and going to enjoy and take advantage of that while I can. I have been dating casually since and met some nice girls that made me start to re-think, but in the end I am just not ready to share my life. My last G-friend really was big PITA and I am just happy now to enjoy the silence.... I am not apposed to the idea of a g-friend or marrage(shivers!) but that time will come and I am sure I will know when I am there. but until then I am gonna party like is 1999, wait.................
"This individual prefers to work alone, get stuff done and not be bothered by too many interruptions. Has a low tolerance for drama that comes into the picture and generally refuses to deal with that sort of nonsense. A few sharp words are possible, then walks away... somewhat annoyed. But, finds other things to re-focus on to regain mental balance quickly."-------------I have enjoyed working alone for some time now. I hated group projects in school as it seemed no body else ever wanted to do anything, and I would not trust my grade in the hands of anyone else, especially the people that I went to school with.... However it takes alot to get me worked up. I will keep quiet until I need to do differently, but at that time I am normally planning how I want to react and what would be best.
"A hard person to get to know, has many walls to block deep connections to others and prefers to live on ones own terms and agenda. Hard for this person to trust or tolerate others that are very different in processing life. This person has several casual friends, but very few (if any) deep relationships. This is usually by personal choice. "I like my own space very much" !!! "-----------I really didn't agree with that paragraph at all. I think I am an easy person to understand as long as you do not over-evaluate me and take me at face value. I do not say yes and mean no, ect. My ex had a degree in psycology and always thought she knew what I said, even if what she thought was not what I said..... make sence? I trust people until I have a reason not to which has caused trouble more then once.
Tinker18 on 05/15/2005 22:41:09
oh good lord, what did i start lol
Victor on 05/16/2005 01:25:40
ok..here's something to cool them off.. hehehehe
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed,
"Dad"
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a
scene with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with
all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's
not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be
very happy.
Even though you won't care for her as she is so much older than I, she
already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for
the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and
that's now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be
growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine
and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will
find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to
know your grandchildren.
Your loving son,
John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
my report card that's in the center drawer of my desk. I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Victor...
Tinker18 on 05/16/2005 08:32:35
that is hilarious. Wish i would have thought of it when i was younger. probably would have helped
swez on 05/16/2005 10:18:48
That's a great joke! Some of my report cards were less then stellar at one point in school. Mostly because things were not going too well at home then. Never thought of that one though. I just had to be able to outrun the DOD (Dear Ol Dad) and stay out of his way for a few days afterwards.
Ttocs, that little essay was actually a blend of people that came to mind. If any seemed to ring a cord with you personally, it was pure chance. Some of those comments reflect a lot of my own personality traits as well. See, I have become somewhat of a "loner" the past few years. (by neccessity, not choice)
Many very challenging events have hit one after the other and I now find solitude to be good company. Am finding it hard to trust people too much in personal matters. Why? Because they have not been through some of the "deep weeds" that I have seen the past 10 years. Many have lots of "helpful advice", but if they have never been there, are way off base. It may work for them... but it's not my cup of tea. That's what I meant by "putting up walls" to keep intruders at bay.
Words from others are often cheap and hollow... rolling up ones sleeves and grabbing a shovel.... means so much more. As one man digs beside his brethren, they find common ground. The hard part is... finding some other guys that are willing to grab the shovel and get a little messy in the process.
Ol Swez has often been the guy that sees the need, picks up the shovel and says... "OK, let's dig"! (together) Unfortunately, this often seems to be a one-way street. When I need a friend to grab the shovel... there are few (if any) to be found. This teaches one self-reliance and that one cannot usually depend too much on others. They are too wrapped up in their own lives and do not see the need to pitch in on someone elses behalf.
In short, we cannot judge other men. However, we can "inspect the fruit" and deal accordingly with what we observe. Anyway, this is more a personal exersize in "introspection". Not directed toward any specific person(s). Just a cathartic way to purge some of my own demons and dealing with the disillussionments am coping with now.
Take it for what it's worth... perhaps not much huh? LOL
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/16/2005 16:34:33
swez.....thats deep man.. a little too deep for me. ill just stick with my old mans motto. "if a dog is trying to bite you, you dont have to out run it, you just have to outrun the people your with"
-has always worked for me in the past. althjough, as i have grown older, i have changed what i once thought it meant. I used to think it meant, think about your own well being, now i think what he meant was that, you can only concern yourself with someone elses trouble so much, before you you have to start thinking of how to get yourself out of it.
ttocs on 05/16/2005 17:32:43
" Not directed toward any specific person(s). Just a cathartic way to purge some of my own demons and dealing with the disillussionments am coping with now."---I was with ya up till this, and I think this was the important conclusion and now i don't know what to think.....
Tinker18 on 05/16/2005 17:46:28
im still trying to decide which one of you is more confused.
swez on 05/17/2005 01:07:05
This topic is taking on a life of its own I see. Well, good nuff. I guess what I am trying to do, is sort out what life really means when we boil it all down to basics. (That's the cathartic stuff) Morphing from what was, to what happened to what to do next?
The dog biting comment was perfect.... beat feet and let the slow guy get the bite.... hehe, but knowing me, I would probably stand up to the dog to protect others. Have man-handle a few vicious dogs in my day and it really not hard, once you take the teeth and jaws out of the equation. Control the dogs' head, and the dog is very vulnerable. I wish this one was that simple.
Disillusionment: When life is going along just snappy and things seems to fall right into place. Then, one day we wake up and realize that we have fallen (or been pushed) into a deep dark hole with seemingly no way out.
Life events like the death of a spouse, parent, child or other loved one, divorce, loosing a job, losing your home, your kids, all accumulated wealth.... are all big wakeup calls. Unfortunately, I have experience all of these in a very short period of time. Am I whining? (perhaps a bit) But all those losses leave deep scars in a person. Those are my demons. Am dealing with them as I can, but as we get older, life get a whole lot harder to rebound from such major setbacks.
Does that clear things up a bit more now?
Swez
PS It has been said... " If it didn't kill ya, it will make you stronger and wiser". Whoever said that was either very wise or a plain old fool. Not sure which way to make that call. Probably a fool?
Victor on 05/17/2005 01:17:37
Swez... Whats wrong?? seems you are feeling too down and lonely these days.. May be we can talk.
"Dont loose it when you need it the most"...
Patience, Faith and stability of mind.
Ol'man cheer up.
Victor..
swez on 05/17/2005 13:12:58
Yes, am very down from all the things mentioned above. This is hard stuff to deal with and if one has not experience such things, they just don't "get it".
"Cheer up, things will get better or .... it's not that bad" are all very simple comments that just make matters worse. It shows extreme ignorance on that parties mindset and I'd rather not listen to that. It does not help. Again, words are cheap... picking up the shovel and digging along side the struggling one is always "good medicine".
In short, need some relief from all the grief and blocked goals I have faced in the past few years. For someone who has been there and has made it back to a brighter tomorrow, that advice... I can use.
Part of the problem here, is there are so few people who know how to counsel and help mend shattered lives. I have helped many others in the past as I have been there before and knew what to do and how to help them. Right now, I am at a loss as to how to process all this stuff, set some new goals and get on with life.
I desire to choose betterness over bitterness... but at the moment, blocked goals, frequent setbacks and scattered plans, seem to be all to present. Am beginning to gain momentum and a lot more patience as a result of all these challenges. However, the process is still a very difficult one to say the least.
Swez
PS Keep up the dialog... your opinions matter and show caring concerns. Now, I know a little bit about what the Tsunami victims have to face.
Romans 8:28 says: "All things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purposes." OK Lord, I know your word and am calling you out to fulfill this promise. When YOU do answer, everybody will see that faith is real. Just don't let me wait much longer... is all I ask.
Tinker18 on 05/17/2005 15:59:41
" a wise man must first acknowledge the fact that he is a fool, before once can call him wise"
although i may not have gone through as many hardships as you have swez, i have lost a parent, so to speak. as you already know, i hear from my father once every year, usually not even on my b-day, so i can understand some of the "loss" part. granted, words are cheap, but i think the real cure to everyones problems lie within their own mind, you just kind of have to work everything out and accept it. my father doesnt love me, doesnt want me, or even care to be around, and that used to cause a lot of turmoil in my life, but as i have grown older and maturity has set in so much that, i accept that now, and realize, there isnt much i can do about it. But the key point here, is that, someone saying everything is going to be allright, doesnt mean jack crap on a totem pole, the only way a problem gets fixed if you take the initiative to start thhe solution.
a favorite saying of mine.
-"if you don't climb the mountain, you wont ever see the beautiful view"
-KP
p.s. too many people try to see the "view" without taking the first steps up the mountain.
swez on 05/17/2005 18:06:38
Well said Tinker... that was an inspired thoughtI
I hate depression as it steals a man's drive, meaning to life and thier will to climb the mountain again. Many great men (I am not one of them) suffered with serious bouts of depression. Abe Lincoln, King David (David & Goliath) Meatloaf, (the rocker) Theo Roosevelt and many other greats in their time. Those who feel deeply about others, also feel thier pain in deep ways too. But like most things, time passes and things do improve.
The loss of your Dad.... (divorce I take it) may seem like he does not care at the moment. Maybe he does, perhaps he doesn't. I would bet my last dollar that deep down inside, he cares a lot but laddened with guilt and frustration on how to make up for all those lost years.
One day, you both may have a chance to sit and talk... face to face. You will both have the opportunity to ask many questions and get many answers that are not so clear right now. He knows very little about you now, and you probably know even less about him. Never the less, you two are blood, kin and share the same DNA.
I would like to invite you to a voice chat sometime on Skype. It's a free internet chat program with excellent audio quality. Can share files, links pictures and music on that program. All you need is a mike for chatting and the program. My user name on Skype is: "swezdp"
www.skype.com
There, one can talk real time, all over the world from the privacy of your computer and it's all free. Several CK guys have the program as well and we chat when we can. What seems to work best, are headphones with a boom mike. But a desktop mike and audio speakers will do the job as well. Come say hello and we can chat in private if you wish.
Swez
PS Thanks for your kind words of encouragement.... they are much appreciated at the moment. Yes, old fools like me can learn from young bucks like you. (and visa-versa)
Tinker18 on 05/17/2005 18:52:12
god knows youve taught me enough. glad to return the favor alothough i disagree with this statement ===========================================The loss of your Dad.... (divorce I take it) may seem like he does not care at the moment. Maybe he does, perhaps he doesn't. I would bet my last dollar that deep down inside, he cares a lot but laddened with guilt and frustration on how to make up for all those lost years.
===========================================
granted, my parents got divorced, but i was 2 years old. I dont remember, nor care to. My dad is the kind of guy who likes to promise things but always fails to follow through. the only thing he has ever been laden with is work, never guilt or remorse, or a simple "im sorry for not being around son". the only comment like that i have received was actually an insult to me. he said "i cant do anything about not having enough time for you, i got alot of work to do ill call you later". so a 7 year old boy, sits there, by the phone for 6 days in and out waiting for his fathers phone call that wouldn't come for 6 more months. If he does feel guilty, i dont care anymore. I spent 16 years of my life trying to be his son, and he didnt want to be my father. so if he wants to be my father later, he can wait 16 years. may seem kind of harsh, but lifes tough, you deal with it..
-KP
p.s. as you can see. lol, your demons dont ever completely go away, but time tends to fade them into the back blissful area of your mind.====you can have one of two different attitudes towards any situation. (ive figured this out young). only two, no more==== option 1.==you say to hell with everything, and choose not to let it bother you.(the one i chose).===option 2.==you try to fix the problem then if it doesnt work....you resort to option 1....lol
swez on 05/18/2005 09:20:20
Get your point... make perfect sense too. Your Dad, chose his work pursuits over family needs for his guidance and time. That is indeed a difficult thing to get through. All suffered from one persons' poor choices. If I were to hazzard a guess, he got more (personal satisfaction) out of being a workaholic, than being a family man. That is a sad reality and you seem to have come to grips with it at an early age.
After talking with you a bit on Skype last night, I got the sense you have a lot on the ball and are ready to make your mark in the world soon. Studies may get very challenging at times, but with personal determination to see it through, it will deliver success as you go along that path. When I was your age, I did not have a clear sense of direction in life. (late bloomer?) It took a few extra years to sort that all out.... but then, things came together fast, once I found my niche.
Think I figured out something overnight that has been eating at me for months. Some call it "burn out". That is... when a person is constantly in a situation that calls them to operate outside their specific gifts and talents. They become frustrated, grumpy and some get very depressed. It's like trying to use a soup spoon to dig a trench. The wrong tool for the job and eventually, the tool (spoon) fatigues and eventually breaks. An Ahhh-Hah moment here! That's what's been eating away at me.
Have noted when we "do more of" what we like to do and love doing it, we gain lots of satisfaction and great results. However, if we are constantly doing things that we a re now well suited for... it drains our energy, saps our motivations and leads to a deep sense of unhappiness. Viola! That's the situation in a nutshell. Now, what to do next?
1. Step back from the forest and get a better view of the trees
2. Identify strengths and motivators
3. Seek out opportunities to use those strengths
4. Minimize exposure to activities that drain us, rather then fill our tanks
5. Go for it with all the gusto we have in us
Wow! It's like a big light just went on and things not seen before, are now very clear. Have been operating out of my strengths ("the zone") for so long, it has depleated my energy and clarity. Now, it time to get to work on things that deeply satisfy. The first step to getting back on track is to identify the issue(s). Then, make needed adjustments to get back in the zone!
My prayers have been answered... a "spoon" is not a trench digging tool. Stop using that spoon for this job and hire a contractor to dig the trench with the proper tools. (or rent the right tools and get it done right)
The lights are on and somebody is home again! HAPPY
Swez
PS Enjoyed our Skype chat very much. Using a speaker as a microphone will work for now... but it's low sensitivity to full range voice reproduction is poor as compared to a true mike. Don't mind my Midwestern accent. I can't really alter it much, unless I moved to Texas for a while... hehe It could be worse.... could be from New York or Baston ya know!
Tinker18 on 05/18/2005 13:37:35
yeah, skype was cool, ill get around to getting a mike sooner or later. i still and always believe that if a person holds a problem within himself, he also holds the solution..the only difference is the path to the solution is a little more obscure in the mind, than the path to frustration
swez on 05/18/2005 18:26:05
Absolutely! But it does not hurt to "brainstorm" with others when solutions are hard to uncover. More brain power in the mix that way.
Did you know... the human brain does its most powerful problem solving as we sleep? All other non-essential higher brain functions go on idle mode and the lower brain functions maintain breathing, heart beat and minimal motor movements. There are several times a night, when the brain goes into warp drive to scan for possible solutions to various dilemas we cannot resolve during waking hours. Neat concept huh?
It's sorta like a computers' hard drive. When we close all running programs and let the processor work on very limited programs, it is most efficient and faster as well. All data points can be scanned rapidly in this mode.
Swez
PS See ya on Skype again soon?
Tinker18 on 05/18/2005 19:10:55
I also believe that certain areas of the bran such as some of the sub concious brains can be mastered and changed by the concious brain. it is just a matter of asserting the problem and going about a solution. As with anything else, your brain can operate on propaganda. A very useful tool. If you say or hear something enough, you will eventually start to believe it, which the belief part is in your sub concious mind, the concious mind merely determines how to interpret that belief. So, if you have a low self esteem, the easiest way to overcome it, is to tell yourself all the time, im better than that, etc. It doesnt offer a quick fix, but over time, you will have a higher self esteem. (im speaking from experience). the same goes with insecurities with women, or any thing else of the nature. She wants to go out with her friends? tell yourself she wont cheat, and when your brain goes to the "other girl" you trusted that did, shrug it off and tell yourself shes not that girl. <---current issue im having.
so i do believe that the conscious mind controls the subconscious mind unconsciously. paradoxal? i dont think so, if thought about abstractly. what do ya think?.
swez on 05/18/2005 19:50:28
To a good degree, we do set the programming models we operate under as we get older. However, when we are young and very impressionalble, negative inputs from friends, parents and ourselves, become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Same thing with positive inputs too.
If our parents tell us we are bright, well mannered and going to grow up and do well in life, we tend to live up to that program. However, if we are raised with constant negatives like... "You are worthless, stupid, shiftless, lazy and will never amount to much", many will live up to that script.
Misconceptions out of ignorance: Have you ever heard someone tell you the moon is made of swiss cheeze? Most of us born before the space program to the moon were fed that "crap" all the time. But, in 1968, that all changed when we put a few guys on the moon. It was not made of cheeze! It's made of rocks, space dust and meteor debris. Scientists have studied the moon rocks that were brought back and have identified many common and unique characteristics of moon rocks VS Earth rocks.
We are also products of our experience. Say we dated a girl in HS and we then went to college in different areas. She/he gets bored or restless and wants to "play around" when nobody is looking. Well, it happened to me and it really shook my beliefs about 1 guy, 1 gal. It really hurt when she finally got caught and fessed up. What could I do? Not one darn thing.... just grieved the loss, learned a few lessons and choose to press on and trust the next gal I met later. However, I was much more selective about whom I dated after that. For the most part, it worked out pretty well.
In short, we have to trust ourselves and the people we associate with. It they prove to be less than trustworthy... cut it off and move on. Fighing about it, is not worth the aggrevation. If a couple is not reading off the same blueprints and have similar likes/dislikes and goals in life, better to find out ASAP and if it looks like a bad fit... move on.
FYI: We cannot change others... but we can change our attitudes and beliefs about many things. The trick is to blend our strengths together and figure out the weakness we and our partner may have. The more in common we have together, the better chances of finding a great fit.
Have you ever heard the old saw... Opposites Attract? In the beginning stages of a relationship, this is often a power drawing card. However, as the relationship matures, those differences can become sticking points later. Then, "Opposites attack" !!! This is a well researched and documented phenom. Check it out for yourself and see if that fits a personal experience pattern or proclivity to do the same things over again.
Swez
PS Define Insanity: "If we do the same things all the time, and yet expect different results.... that's insanity!!! Drop a 16 lb., bowling ball on our foot 10 times... what do you think the results will be? PAIN !!!
Nuff said huh? LOL
Tinker18 on 05/18/2005 20:22:50
id like to hear more info on the "differences attract" thing swez. I have had that problem many a time in my life. Im drawn to the girls, who are very independent, who trust completely and are unprotective, while i myself, am semi independent, am weary about trust, and am somewhat protective to a degree. although it seems like whenever i have tried dating a girl who is quote un quote "like me", i seem to feel trapped. maturity sets in at some point with me and tells me i will eventually find another girl, if something goes a wry with this one, but at the same time, the 10 year old notion of "i dont want anyone else, nor can i have any one else" is still inset in the mind. As i have grown older, the mind has been a very frequent subject of my thoughts, as everything about people and their actions confuse me, i try not to understand the person or why they acted that way. I try to understand the root of the problem and see where it came from. from that strong base point, you can understand any motives or actions, far louder than words. a little too deep for an 18 year old? everyone seems to tell me i have a mind like a 30 year old, with a kids aura still embedded in me. Even my g/f says im in too much of a hurry to "grow up"(i hate those words, they are insulting to me)
whats your thoughts old timer?
ttocs on 05/18/2005 21:15:56
wow, been away a for a couple of days and what did I miss? my stomach has started to act up again leaving me to wonder how long till I need another stay at the hospital to be fed through a tube. They still have not figured it out and call it irritable bowel syndrom.... My bowels are not happy then.
ya got your health right swez?
Tinker18 on 05/18/2005 21:22:51
wow....talk about a change in subject there scott. IBS? my ex used to have that...but the b stood for a different word....lol
swez on 05/18/2005 21:47:59
Yeah ttocs, am slowly getting back on track. My Mom has been in the hospital for 10 days. My Dad is worrying himself to illness and soon, I will have two elders to care for in depth. That's what has been wearing me down.
Am not well suited to be a care giver yet feel the need to set my agendas aside for a time, to get them up to speed again. That's seems to be at the root of all this "stuff" at the moment. It's like a hunting dog that has to learn to behave like a humming bird for a while. Ya know, flit here, flit there and play gummby. Guess that is not my forte?
Stomach is acting up again eh? Get on it so you don't get worse. Man, if it's not one thing, it's another. Join the club!
Take care of yourself ol boy,
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/19/2005 09:39:36
sorry to hear about your mom swez, never a good thing. i dont think i could play the role of care giver either. not cut out for it that well. of course im still young so i dont know about it completely yet, but i have very little patience with most stuff.
swez on 05/19/2005 11:05:12
Ya thanks.... Mom is getting stronger each day and may come home this weekend. She is pretty weak from all the stuff she has been through, but her spirits are up and her mind is getting sharper with each passing day.
Pops on the other hand, is falling apart at the seams now. He is worried to death that he might loose her. His previous wife died from what started out as a minor issue, but was ignored to the point that no medical treatments could undue the damage. He is having DeJevu "all over again" with this episode. Can't say I blame him for being very concerned as he has been down this path 5 years ago with disaterous results. But worry is not healthy and just steals our energy. Very hard on the body and mind. I am taking a more pragmatic approach here... stay on top of the process, talk to the Doctors and staff and get frequent updates on Mom's definite progress.
As for being a primary care giver for 2 elderly adults... it's not my stong suit either. Yes, I know what to do and can do it for short periods of time, but it's like a muscle, we have to work it out to make it stronger and able to perform harder tasks.
Patience? What's that? It too is like a muscle. The more we use it, the better it will perform under pressure. A few years ago, my patience meter was pretty low. (maybe a 2) After many difficult situations and practicing patience, now closer to an 8. Did I enjoy that process of building patience? ABSOLUTELY NOT !!! But, it has served me well to go through that stuff.
It's like being a Parent.... does not come easy or naturally to some. They have to work very hard at it. Why? Because most are naturally self-centered and don't appreciate all the extra demands placed on them as a full time care giver. Women are raised to bring on the babies and raise them. Men are raised to be the "bread winner" and take care of business. That was the typical role models in the 50's & 60's.
Today, there is a shift taking place. Wives want to have jobs and like making money too. It almost takes 2 incomes to stay on top of all the financial needs of the family. (or so it seems) But, this is a lie! Many couples can work outside the home and build a nice "nest egg" for later. That's not a bad idea!
But...when the children start popping up, it is well known that Mother's are best suited to feed and care for an infant. If men were designed for that job, we'd have breasts to produce milk too. (But we don't) Our "job" (function) is provide for our growing families and protect them as well. We are called to be leaders, protectors and providers of the home.
Unfortunately, many young couple are brought up with lots of toys, gadgets and gizzmos. They think Nintendo, Game Boys, a new car at graduation and many other things are "needs". They want the same lifestyles as their parents gave them. But do not want to wait the 25 years it took their parents to get to that level. Bull hocky!!!
Needs are: Food, shelter, clothing, transportation of some kind and a nurturing Mother and a strong Father role model. Kids need our time and attention. They want to be involved with their parents and learn to do things as a group. However, if Mom & Dad both work and the kid comes home to an empty house and has to fend for themselves for several hours, problems soon develop unless the child was raised to be very responsible and able to manage a few hours at home w/o supervision.
Why do you think kids are so angry, violent and isolated these days? A lack of parental involvement! Both parents come home from work, (dog tired) needing time to decompress from a hard day at work right? Little Johnny or Janny want their attention too. The typical response is:
"GO AWAY KID... YA BOTHER ME" ! Then, they reach into their wallets, hand the kid some money and say, go buy a toy or go to the video arcade and get lost for a few hours.... just LEAVE ME ALONE !!!
In my days, it was..."here's a dollar son. Go buy some ice cream or a bottle of pop" (soda.. CokeaCola etc.) So, we'd happily jump on our bikes, hop down to the party store and get what we liked. When the street lights came on, it was time to check in and bedtime was 9:00 on school nights... 11:00 on the weekends, if we were on the block playing tag, hide and go seek etc.
See the trend here? Little adult supervison or involvement with our kids, sends a message they are not wanted. So, they turn to other tormented kids in the same game and they try to sort out life the best they can together. Unfortunately, kids are just that... kids. They lack reasoning, experience and the ability to make wise choices. Sooner or later, they tune out with gangs, drugs, alcohol, sex and who knows what else. These kids are headed for trouble. They lack direction, have poor self-esteem and little self-discipline.
Fortunately, some kids do get good family support and find healthy ways to manage their time. They do their homework on time, play sports or get into some kind of hobby that teaches skills, teamwork, self-suffciency and along with that, comes a good self-esteem. These kids do well and become early leaders and responsible adults.
Whew... what was that all about? Topic for the day I guess???
Anyway, enough for now. Tink, will try to catch you on Skype later and we can talk about that "opposites that attract, then attack" thingy.
Swez
PS Yes, this is now "way off topic" and growing. Wonder why? Anyway, if any wish to read this topic, feel free to do so and chime in. It's an open forum. However, to those who may find this topic twist to be "not their cup of tea", no problem. Just don't read it. It's almost a practice session for future books I hope to write some day. If you have not gathered it by now, find the study of psychology and human behavior, totally facinating. So much to learn... so little time. SMILE
Tinker18 on 05/19/2005 17:33:26
yes, this umm has definitley taken on a life of its own..lol, although i think it would be somewhat funny to see a regular post topic with over 100 responses. lol. I have to agree with you, kids now days are a little too spoiled and neglected, which combined together can have very bad results. I used to have the be in by the time the street lights come on rule when i was younger swez. daylight savings pissed me off alot during those years. lol. I personally have been brought up to respect my elders and authoratative figures, and am grateful for how fortunate ive been in my life. I usually have to work for anything i want, as i will not allow something to be "given" to me. I do not like things that are handed to people in life that are unearned.
"in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall make your paths straight"
swez on 05/19/2005 19:07:28
Exactly! Your end quote is most appropriate and right on target. I would add this as well:
Train up a child in the way he/she should go, and as they grow older, they will not depart from it.
Gifts are nice, especially when they are well earned. But there is no deeper personal satisfaction I know, then to work hard on something to reach a goal we set for ourselves. That treat at the end, makes it all worthwhile.
However, if we just hand things out left in right to get kids out of our hair, what have we taught them? "If I bug you long enough, you will cave in and give me what I want" ! Well, try that in college or on our first job or two. What will happen under that mode of operation? You got it... a major smack down pending. Welcome to the real world of "Dog Eat Dog".
Swez
PS Notice the number of views on this post is now over 200? Not sure I have ever seen a single post with that many reads in a long time. Funny huh? GRIN
Tinker18 on 05/19/2005 21:04:05
yeah, kind of neat although our views on this post may account for 30-60 of them more than likely. I know a few "spoiled brats" so to speak, and they tend to get on my nerves. Although i dont let it bother me too bad simply because i know that one day they will hit a brick wall that doesnt move for them "at will" and i will get a major kick out of it. I cannot wait till 20 or 30 years go by and i get to go back to my high school reunion and simply laugh at all the spoiled girls whose daddy gave them everything and now they are going through divorce with no college degree and 3 kids. its the little things in life that make life so worthwhile. Major things, are simply a bonus in my eyes. The details, are all that count.
another favorite orwellian quote of mine
"if you keep the small rules, you can usually break the big ones"
P.S. in my view, this also applies not only to a fictional 1984 but also to real life. pay great attention to detail, and most will overlook the general picture.
-KP
swez on 05/20/2005 09:19:00
Too funny... spoiled little Daddy's princess syndrome is so true. What a setup for the poor sucker that hooks up with one of them and doesn't realize it til it's too late.
Was browsing a singles website (Tickle I think) and low and behold, my previous g/f had her pic and blurbs on the first page. Interesting too, how she used a pic that was >10 ago and she looks very little like that now. Her self description was pretty accurate and so were her preferences. Hope it works out for her. She was a good companion, but we had very different goals. (slightly-somewhat spoiled, but honest and hard working)
On another page, there was a woman (late 30's) who said she was very fit. She had a laundry list of mate preferences. Tall, physically fit, "thick?", no excess facial hair.... and makes huge money. She also said she loves to shop. Hummmm, looks like she's into physical attractions, control freek and loves to spend others money. Her picture showed a pretty woman in good physical shape... but I would not touch one like that with a 20 foot pole. In short, she is shallow, looking for Mr. Moneybags and wants to control everything. That was an eye opener... sad and very scary to me... LOL
Big Picture VS the Details: Both are important and we will encounter both types a lot in life. There are also people that have a good blend of both.
Big picture people tend to become leaders and head large corporations or high political positions. They are great at developing a "vision" for where they want to go in life and often very articulate and charismatic, but depend on detail minded people to help them get there. These B/P folks are usually very goal oriented, have strong personalities and tend to make snap decisions based on experience and gut reactions. You either love em or hate em, depending on your own style. They are needed, but they also need a strong support team to keep them on track and in touch with the process of getting to a goal.
Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, JFK and FDR were all B/P Presidents.
The detail folks are great at looking at all the componets needed to get from points A to Z. However, they often lack charisma and a presents to command. This is the much needed support team behind successful leaders. They gather facts, figures, opinions and details and make recommendations to the B/P leaders. They like being in the background, supporting the leader... but don't want too much "out front" exposure. They work best from behind the scenes. Some notables here were: D. Eisenhower, R. Nixon, LBJ, J. Carter and G. Ford.
The "blended" personality can do both functions to a degree. They are solid, well rounded and grounded people as well. They do not make the greatest up front leaders as they also have to do their own research and digging for details. These folks make great middle managers and adjuncts to B/P leaders. The blended personality can be bold when needed, but is also comfortable working alone, behind the scenes as well. Very studious, concenses oriented and then they make their pitch.
G.W Bush, G.H. Bush, A. Lincoln, G. Washington were/are all "blended" personality types. Very effective leaders in their own right. But, studied the tasks and details before making huge decisions.
OK, which personality type are we? Ol Swez is more a "blended" personality type.
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/20/2005 12:28:32
i would say i fall more into the big picture personality type as i am somewhat charismatic and fairly articulate, although my determination makes me pay even greater attention to detail than most. "if your going to do something...you might as well do it right or not at all" ....
-i think this quote explains the way i view the world.
"if jackasses could fly...this place would be an airport"
my biggest pet peeve is ignorant people. Not stupid people....ignorant people. there is a difference. Stupid is something you are born with or describes an action by which you are doing. ignorance on the other hand is simply a voluntary choice not to learn what you can to move yourself up in life. the world is full of ignorant people, so in short, i get annoyed quite often.
-top ten things that bother me...(in order of importance)
1.-ignorance
2.-ungratefulness
3.-rudeness
4.-smart alikes
5.-politicians
6.-liars
7.-repitition
8.-naievety
9.-immaturity
10.-unloyal
swez on 05/20/2005 13:28:37
Guess we have similar views on pet peeves too.
About Stupidity vs Ignorance.... Have a slight variation on that one.
Ignorance: They don't know what we do know... but when it is brought to their attention, they gain insight and apply the new found knowledge as best they can. Ignorant people are generally teachable.
Stupidity: They often know the right things to do, but refuse to do them. Or, they try to do it halfway and create more of a mess then what was originally there. Tend to make the same mistakes over and over again, but rarely learn from the events and outcomes.
Insanity: Always do the same things, but expect better results as they tried harder this time. The results are usually less than desirable and make others crazy in the process.
Based on your earlier post, seems like the TYPE A personality is your gift. Drive to suceed, makes rapid decissions on most matters, "damn the torpedos... full speed ahead" !!!
A joke... The Captain of a large battleship was out on manuvers and came into a foggy stretch as night approached. The lookout sent a message to the Captain... "Sir, we have lights ahead, 2,000 meters off the bow. They are right in our path."
Captain to radioman: "Tell that vessle to change course, 15 degree to Starboard immediately" !
Response: " Ahoy vessle, adjust your course 15 degrees Port".
Captain: "I am Captain H. P. Grissom, I am the Captain. Change your course 15 degrees Starboard immediately."
Response: "This is seaman second class Huntly Sir. Change your immediately by 15 degrees to Port".
Captain: (ready to explode) " Look you a$$, I am the Captain of the USS Portsmouth. This ship is prepared to ram you if you do not change course" !!!
Response: "Sir, this is a lighthouse station. If you do not change course ASAP, you will run-a-ground and damage your ship."
Who do you think blinked on this contest? LOL The Captain is a definite Type A personality. (pretty full of himself huh) The lighthouse operator is a Type B personality. (a humble yet direct support staff) Was this an example of ignorance, stupidity or insanity?
Funny how many blind spots we can have. That's why we need others to cover our backsides.
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/21/2005 11:01:44
I think that was an example of all three. ignorance, stupidity, and insanity combined, which when put together, i think can be a dangerous combination. but like they always say, there is a fine line between genius and insanity....still trying to find that line. obviously havent succeded yet. albert einstein for instance...was he a genius or was he inteligently insane? i think they coincide with one another, i dont think there is a difference. I think to be a genius, you have to be a little bit insane. i would say the type A personality listed above definitly cannot survive without the type B personality, as they are relied upon to keep the insanity part "in check" so to speak. but as with all things in life, you usually are always dependent on something else, maybe not always a person, but maybe and object, and ideal, a feeling, or anything of any nature.
-KP
swez on 05/21/2005 17:53:55
Speaking of insanity VS genius.... did you know when asked what his home address was, Albert Einstein replied: I don't recall off hand. In fact, in school I was often bad at memorization and numbers. Beside, why waste mental energy on such small matters? I can look it up in the phone book if needed. But I do know this... E=MCsq'd.
I'd say that was a pretty good come back huh?
Since you will be studying to become a pilot someday soon, consider a few side courses in pshycology. Or at least read a few book on that subject. Good insights on how we all act the way we do and why the pre-programmed responses are so predicable. This is a very cool field of study too. We have a long way to go on understanding human behavior. But the basics are a pretty good start.
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/21/2005 18:36:29
yeah, actually i did know that. i think i am going to take a couple philosophy courses too, seems like it could be quite interesting. Human behavior astounds and amazes me, so i like to try to understand it. Besides, if i am going to be a pilot, i need to know something better to tell them when the planes crashing...other than stick your head between your legs and kiss your ,,, goodbye
swez on 05/22/2005 10:05:54
Philosophy is OK to study as well. There are so many choices out there in many different disciplines. Same with psychology topics.
The best source of philosopy I have ever read, comes right out of the Bible. Specifically, the books called Ecclesiastes and Proverbs. Most of these topics were written by King Solomon in his older years. King Solomon was the richest and wisest man who ever lived. These books preserve his experiences and pearls of wisdom he collected over a long life span. They are located in the middle of the Old Testament.
Also, study yourself. Who am I?, What style of personality do I have? What are our strengths & weaknesses? When you have that pretty well down pat, look at the other main personality types as well. This will help illuminate how others around us operate and note their strengths and weaknesses too.
FYI: Have been in Technical Sales most of my adult life. It was very helpful for me to understand my own personal style and then the styles of my clients, friends, family and work associates. Once I got the hang of it, was a lot easier to relate to them on their terms and point of reference.
Here's a good starting point:
http://www.outofservice.com/bigfive
Another very good test is the Meyers-Briggs full personality profile. The last one I can think of is called MMPI (Minnisota Multi-phasic Personality Inventory) . This last one is long and very indepth. Usually have to pay for that one as it is scored and evaluated by a psycologist.
Have fun,
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/22/2005 11:24:20
heres my results:
Openness to Experience/Intellect--80%
High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative.
You enjoy having novel experiences and seeing things in new ways. (Your percentile
===========================================
Conscientiousness-74%
High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent.
You are well-organized, and are reliable.
===========================================
Extraversion-59%
High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet.
You are neither particularly social or reserved.
===========================================
Agreeableness-50%
High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous.
You are neither extremely forgiving nor irritable.
===========================================
Neuroticism-32%
High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy.
You are generally relaxed.
===========================================
-i liked this test, and the sad thing is, is that it is pretty much right on target.
swez on 05/22/2005 11:58:45
O = 65%
C = 74%
E = 53%
A = 79%
N = 18%
Looks like we are very similar in nature, based on this test. However, there is a broad span in our ages. (30 years) As we get older, we tend to mellow and take fewer risks. In my younger days, I would have scored considerably different. (say early 20's)
The blooming process did not hit me until about 24-28 years old. That's about the time life really began to change for me. (Ie: Went back to school, started a career path... not just a J.O.B. [Just Over Broke] and got married at 33).
In short, I was a late bloomer as it took me a few more years out of the nest, to undo the "angry young man" syndrome from my childhood. Yep, I was one pi$$ed off rebel in my earlier days. But time, knowledge, overcoming new challenges and moving on, changed most of that as I got older. My "theme song" in those days was "THE GRAND ILLUSION" by Styx.
"Why must you be such an angry young man? You're future looks quiet bright to me."
Now, (30 years later) I can see things from a new perspective. Life is what we choose to make of it. Everyday is a choice. What choices we make today, net what we will get later. (Good, bad or indifferent)
Swez Smile
Tinker18 on 05/22/2005 12:44:53
"what we do in our past, controls what is happening in the present, what happens in the present, controls our future, so therefore, our past controls our future."
swez on 05/22/2005 18:25:34
That would be 100% true if we choose not to grow and change. Or, our present situations, caused by past choices can be modified, to create a new future.
Fortunately, we have the ability to reason and process events. Animals do not so much. They (animals) can learn and adapt based on events and training, but only humans have reasoning power. We don't simply respond to a given stimuli. We can learn, think, plan, organize thoughts and change our behaviors. Animals can modify their behaviors... but they don't have true powers of reasoning.
Mistakes and setbacks can become our allies. It's part of the learning process. If we ever meet someone who has never made a mistake in their lives....
1. They are liars
2. They are deceived
3. They are trying to deceive others
4. They have never done anything of any real importance in their lives
It took Thomas A. Edison more than 10,000 tries to perfect the now ubiquitous light bulb.
Swez
gearhead on 05/22/2005 19:34:54
O- 84
C- 69
E- 37
A- 44
N- 11
JMO, but some of the key words used are non-specific/defined (often, sometimes, almost, a lot, etc.) and some of the questions on that test are skewed. "Can be cold and aloof", "Can be somewhat careless", "Can be moody", Can be tense". Anybody CAN be any of those things. The question is, are they? I can be cold and aloof given the right circumstances. In general though, I'm not. So how should I answer that question? My answer is that I agree. I CAN be cold and aloof. I choose not to be 99% of the time. "Is sometimes rude to others"? I've never met anybody that wasn't rude to at least one person in their life. That qualifies as "sometimes" to me. Maybe I'm not intrepretting the questions properly, or I'm taking them too literally. Who knows?
Tinker18 on 05/22/2005 19:38:13
like they say on national treasure...."it took him 10,000 tries to make a light bulb, and when asked about it, he said i didnt fail, i found out 10,000 ways NOT to make a light bulb"
genius response?
I recently watched a show on the discovery channel that talked about "killer waves"....ever hear anything about it? kind of unique, has to do with quantum physics. basically, a wave is supposed to be linear, meaning that, the crest and trough are always the same, given the same amount of energy. Science has proved recently that for some reason there is what is now called, a non-linear wave. It saps energy from the waves nearest it, making their crest lower, and its own higher, with deeper troughs. So far, it has been deemed completely spontaneous as we have no evidence of any tide pattern, ocean current, or sun flares..lol...to blame the somewhat erie phenomenon on. i think back in 96' a deep ocean oil rig was annihilated by a 32 meter "killer wave"...you should look it up...its quite interesting.
-KP
swez on 05/23/2005 10:19:05
Killer waves and rouge waves have been noted on many large bodies of water for many years. Until recently, scientists could not measure them accurately or determine possible causes for them. They are common in seas, oceans and even the Great Lakes.
Many factors to consider here:
1. Wind speed/direction
2. Water depth
3. Water temperatures variations
4. Topology of the sea bed
5. Underwater currents and tidal flows
6. Fish farts?
7. Underwater fissures
So many variables to understand huh?
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/25/2005 08:44:16
fish farts? lol...im never gonna forget that. they said that they noticed that they were more common in the deep ocean areas, than any where else.
swez on 05/25/2005 09:04:29
Deep ocean areas? That can be attributed to "Whale Farts". Can you imagine how much gas a 40-60 foot whale can generate? Or maybe a large "pod" of dolphins?
Swez
Tinker18 on 05/25/2005 09:20:06
pod? definitly woldnt want to be behind the whale, ill tell you that much. if one of us can clear out a room...good night...i dont even wanna know. whale farts...lol
-did you see what i did for the guy with not enough info?...i thought it to be an original approach....lol.
swez on 05/25/2005 14:17:33
Yes, I did see your post and he followed up well.
Pod... yes, a school of dolphins are called "Pods". Large groups tend to school together for protection and herding bait fish efficiently. Not sure how many can be in a POD... but they do school for protection against sharks, Killer Whales and other predatious sea critters.
There are also many kinds of whales. Whales are mammals. The give live birth to their young and nurse them for up to 2 years. Dophins are also part of the whale family. Other notable mentions are Bottle-nosed Whales, Humpbacks, Baluga, Sperm Whales, Southern Wright Whales, Pilot Whales and last but not least, the Blue Whale. This is the largest of the species. They have been found to log in over 100 feet long. That's some serious tonage huh?
Two major groupings of whales too.
1. Whales with teeth like the Dolphin, Sperms and Killer Whales. Not sure if the Whale shark counts as a true whale or not.
2. "Baleen Whales" are strainer whales. They eat plankton and other small micro-organic critters of the deep.
Is that all you wanted to know about whales?
Swez
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