I would like to Celebrate a little St Pattys. Anyone know any St Patty's wisecracks. Here's a few:
__________________________
Q: What's an Irish 7 course meal?
A: A six-pack and a potato
__________________
Have you heard about the Irish boomerang?
It doesn't come back, it just sings songs about how much it wants to.
___________________
Today we're serving a traditional Celtic breakfast: Lucky Charms and beer
Replies (4)
gearhead on 03/15/2005 14:42:49
Did you know the Limbo dance was invented by an Irishman trying to get into a pay toilet?
danielm87 on 03/16/2005 23:57:48
Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Regular rocks are too heavy.
.
Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they're always a little short.
.
Q. Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold?
A. They like to "go" first class!
.
Q. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A. He's Dublin over with laughter!
.
Q. Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
A. He couldn't afford plane fare.
.
Q. What's Irish and stays out all night?
A. Patty O'furniture!
.
Q. How did the Irish Jig get started?
A. Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
.
danielm87 on 03/17/2005 00:00:54
"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"
MrBrownstone on 03/17/2005 13:22:12
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO ALL
Here's an Irish funny for the day!!!!
IRISH CONFESSION
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And, who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell
me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy
Shaughnessy! and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone.
You cannot attend Mass for three months. Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"
"Three month's vacation and five good leads!"
__________________________
Q: What's an Irish 7 course meal?
A: A six-pack and a potato
__________________
Have you heard about the Irish boomerang?
It doesn't come back, it just sings songs about how much it wants to.
___________________
Today we're serving a traditional Celtic breakfast: Lucky Charms and beer
Replies (4)
gearhead on 03/15/2005 14:42:49
Did you know the Limbo dance was invented by an Irishman trying to get into a pay toilet?
danielm87 on 03/16/2005 23:57:48
Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A. Regular rocks are too heavy.
.
Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A. Because they're always a little short.
.
Q. Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold?
A. They like to "go" first class!
.
Q. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
A. He's Dublin over with laughter!
.
Q. Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
A. He couldn't afford plane fare.
.
Q. What's Irish and stays out all night?
A. Patty O'furniture!
.
Q. How did the Irish Jig get started?
A. Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
.
danielm87 on 03/17/2005 00:00:54
"I married an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day."
"Oh, really?"
"No, O'Reilly!"
MrBrownstone on 03/17/2005 13:22:12
HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO ALL
Here's an Irish funny for the day!!!!
IRISH CONFESSION
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And, who was the woman you were with?"
"I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell
me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy
Shaughnessy! and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone.
You cannot attend Mass for three months. Be off with you now."
Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"
"Three month's vacation and five good leads!"
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